ranch cycling

musings of "quality"

2012-01-28T15:43:00.000Z

Having been on the road for three weeks with about 30,000 miles to speak for - i found myself with the ever diminishing asset "time" suddenly in big supply. This was especially so with the various changes in time zones resulting in 3 am ceiling stares and planes who continually pander to i'm not sure who - stocking their movie selections with pap like hangover 2, the transformers, or bad teacher. However, one movie that i did manage to see though was "margin call" which given what most of us at the ranch do for living was cause for uncomfortable reflection and began the musings which this blog plays heed to.Ever more quizzical eyes focus on banker compensation these days which when coupled with the new capital adequacy measures which make for less levered banks, which make for less return on equity, and ultimately less dough to go around this time of year. This is not unexpected nor necessarily wrong - rather as we need live in the present - its just reality. "Occupy" has changed the conversation at least for now, and Wall Street needs to answer for its part in driving the gulf between itself and main street. I hope we are all enlightened enough to say that someone needed to find the dimmer switch under which we partied the night away - and shine a brighter light on the ugliness greed and entitlement brings.While living in the present is all well and good - this does not mean we can't ponder the future and gently daydream of other alternatives to "I'm never at home" jobs. Reflecting on a great line from my father - one should never confuse that which is familiar from that which is best for you. Unfortunately to get to the "best for you" part - it necessarily implies a critical amount of introspection which may happen for the 3 minutes one is under the shower each day - but beyond that we really just whizz by with life. That is of course until one day we happen upon another reality which makes us say "hey wait a minute" maybe i got this all wrong. As one begins to field more panicked calls from disgruntled bankers, troubled friends, and young markets people that look up with that "what just happened coach" gaze - the critical thinking becomes ever more acute. What pushes an old fuzzy thinker like myself to take that more than pregnant pause is when you see what is possible when a good friend and rancher breaks away and stays true to goals which start with "whats best for my family" "whats best for my health" and "whats best over the long haul" haul being a path to grow old gracefully with control over time and relevance. The rancher who propelled me into this "hmmmm" moment is our pal rider turbo.As this is a cycling blog i will hereby dispense with the "emotional intelligence" prelude and dive into guts of my 3.5 hours with turbo in the hills of santa monica which has forced pen to paper.

This is the map of turbos backyard - all the place names; "Malibu", "Pacific Coast Highway", "Encina", are familiar to us as we have been force fed LA geography through hollywood and mass market TV. But what never comes out is just how perfect the setting truly is. As i pulled into turbo's driveway at 10:30 am i remember him nattering about just what an ideal ride is out his back porch. At the ranch we have played witness to lots of "best of" boasts as far as rides go so of course I'm going to take any claim to "ideal" with a pinch of salt. Nevertheless, living in Asia with my loop being a 30 minute smog choked - not that interesting - traffic dodger - i was pumped for views that didn't involve lots of tall buildings. Turbo being the attention to detail rider we all know - had pristine ranch kit kept only for race days or in this case visiting VIP's - laid out for me with a base layer and my shoes being my only contribution. He had saddled up an older but wonderfully kept cervelo frame, matched my in step measurements to saddle height, prepared the pedals for my look keo cleats, and had two filled water bottles mounted. Tossing an energy gel at me he said today we will bag the "double decker" - which is an out and back ride over the two summits which comprise decker canyon.

We set out under a 22 degree late morning sun, no wind, no traffic, and came to the base of the first climb within five minutes of his home. Beginning gently the climb kicks up to somewhere around 12 percent in places and spinning consistently we crested the top after about 35 minutes. The ride then bobs along the top of the canyon for about 15 minutes then descends with wide open views of the pacific ocean on one side and the santa moncia and malibu parklands on the other. Ranches of various description line the route and traffic was limited to a car or two every ten minutes.

The first descent spills onto the pacific coast highway which you pedal on for about 500 meters veering off eventually onto an immediately steep ascent - which is the start of the second climb - or as turbo calls it - decker two. This climb felt a little more challenging and took us 45 minutes to gain the summit. Again little traffic was seen aside from the solo guy who passed us at pace. We danced along the ridge line and ultimately came to the same road we had been on earlier. The descent was painless although the writer of this post was holding up the show with a more tentative line than the aptly named turbo, and we pulled into case turbo 20 minutes later.

The ride ended all too soon as i had to shower and make hay for a late afternoon flight to san francisco. My cab was waiting and again, timed to perfection as i checked in on the bell.Coming back to the musings part - turbo has found the most remarkable of quality of life gigs a man could hope for. The thing was he didn't hope - he actualized - as too often we dream about a better situation - which is nothing more for 98 per cent of us than idle fantasy. Great family with him and a wife who not only he has to chase after or up these california climbs, but who is helping people everyday as a oncologist in one of the best hospitals in the country - he seems he has sacrificed little in his choices. True not all of us can run 600mln of hedge fund assets from CA, but we can sure try to plan on doing something productive, in a healthier, and more affordable situation - which doesn't start or end with a financial capital of the world. To borrow Easy E's line - that kid is winning - to me i think he has won .

nepal ultra 250 - the pitts's story

2011-12-09T12:36:00.001Z

Racing the planet does 4 desert races each year: antartica, gobi, atacama, and the sahara. In addition there is one roving race - in 2011 the choice for the 5th was Nepal. The 6 days consist of a marathon a day with 2 on the 5th day. In sum the total vertical is just under 10k meters with most of the up and down found on stones cut into the side of the mountains. This makes for dangerous going early in the morning as the dew pools atop the rocks making the surface worse than a saskatchewan skating rink - in addition the spacing can be deep making for extreme pressure on unprepared knees. I played witness to an unfortunate flat lander who despite his ironman tattoo, rolled off the course in front of me holding a snapped i.t. band. The race is entirely self supported which means you must pack your own food (one must prove 2k calories per day), sleeping stuff, and whatever else you consider important to surviving, what is provided by racing the planet is water (every 10k) and tents.

Nepal, while being undeniably beautiful, is also in the sub tropics and as such - is the perfect place for baddy germs or bits of disease fueled vermin. The mountains are dotted with villages and no matter how remote you think you are, the familiar waft of open sewage comes trickling by throwing ones senses back to the dark congested ally ways of Delhi. Nepal, my old doctor friend Calvin warned before i left, is the dirties cesspool on earth - disinfect at every opportunity. So i did.

Emphasis is on keeping ones pack as light as possible - one would be amazed at the number of blogs, chatrooms and the like devoted to ultra light backcountry gear. My 32 liter osprey weighted in at all of 8.2 kilos. Simone opted for a few comforts (wool booties for sub zero nights, a camera, and slightly more food as she planned to be on her feet more than me). The key to getting through the race which averages a 50% drop out is somewhat whats in your engine - but more - how your skeleton holds up (knees, turned ankles, blisters, backs). The unforeseen knock out punch in Nepal was a gastro-intestinal bug that ripped through camp putting 50% of the participants in a 24 hour tizzy of vomitting - soupy runs - and shivers. Remember, that all this sickness comes at a time where you are racing to meet cut off times and spend as little time on your feet as possible given that blisters are what keep most athletes from continuing. An example of one of my more admired pieces of equipment is "my feathered friend" sleeping bag coming in at under one pound and good until -3c, which i buttressed with a silk liner giving me an additional 5 degrees. I ordered this bag from Seattle as it has an almost cult like following amongst the climbing community - the guy whom i spoke with over the phone lectured me for 30 minutes on my gear choices - love that guy and love that store.

Simone and I agreed to both go at our separate pace - however the second day she woke up doubled over with the bug so my job was squarely and uniquely to get her over the line. Despite her friends telling her that it wasn't worth the effort given she had 2,800 meters of climbing ahead of her in +32 weather - she put her head down and plowed ahead. This made for a challenging marital dynamic: remembering its my wife that was near death so compassion need be demonstrated - yet coming to grips with the AAA nature of a competitive middle aged canadian beast i obviously didn't want my race to come an abrupt end, sick wife or no sick wife - thus the delicate balance began. Pausing after the first hour to projectile vomit which funneled out on a 5 foot arc, it was obvious the day was going to be eventful. The puke pauses became our hourly ritual until later in the afternoon when, the odd bit of bile aside, the condition degenerated into dry heaves that would scare any freshman at chico state. She keep her calories up by licking GU gels and nibbling at lance's own honey waffle stingers. After crossing a 200m swinging bridge over the most striking deep gurgling gorge - the end of the day was in sight and she trotted into camp with 30 minutes to spare. Our tent mates, and other friends ripped her pack off - got her mat and sleeping bag set up, and warmed some beef broth with dried noodles which she had thoughtfully brought as a one day alternative to dehydrated expedition food. By 6:15 she was snoring away with a double imodium dose - waking up 12 hours later feeling somewhat fresh and ready to race. God bless my wife - so strong. Below is a shot of her at the start of our day together - i love the way the picture oozes pale pain.

The week really pivoted on the 85km day. Containing 3,500 meters of up and down - its estimated that one will burn 15-17k calories. For a posterity, a picture of our "game faces" morning of the biggie.

I paced the day with a pal of mine Ali who was on his 3rd ultra so he knew what to expect and we worked together entering camp around 11 at night after our 7 am start. Very much a consistent slog with us running the flats and the downs until night hit where we marched at about 5km per hour under headlight. Never having put that much strain on my legs before - getting to sleep despite being bushed - was a challenge as my quads wouldn't stop quivering and i felt real water retention on my left shin which wasn't as achey as it was pulsing a heavy gooey sensation. Simone came in with her crew in just about 24 hours to the minute. Incredibly her laughing as she came across the line was what woke me up - and all smiles - blister free - she silently downloaded and slept until late morning.

The final day was an easy flat 16k run back into Pokhara - where pizza and beer were waiting for us - pictures were snapped, people hugged and most felt a certain sense of achievement - and i just sat - content but without the tingle that i used to get racing the bike - i would describe the feeling as a nice warm thud. Would i do a race like this again - absolutely. No question if i don't have a race to train for, a well articulated goal with a tangible chance of failure to scare - i lack the intensity and drive to maintain what i consider an acceptable level of condition which ultimately insulates us all from growing old where it matters most - in the mind. The happy clear minded couple um ziel.

Tour of Romandie CycloSportif–It’s Not Easy Being Green

2011-10-17T18:28:00.001+01:00

Référence : les chiffres de Contador sur la montée de Verbier 2009:
Temps: 20’53”                   Pourcentage: 7,5%
Distance: 8’700 m
Poids du coureur: 62 kg     Poids du matériel de Contador : 7 kg
Contador pèserait 69 kgs, ce qui porterait sa puissance à 550 watts sur Verbier

September 11, 2011 dawns and another Bite/Howe Ranch adventure is upon us. Riders SharkBite and Howe do not set their sights low: todays challenge is to equal or exceed Alberto Contador’s time for the Le Chable to Verbier climb, set in the 2009 stage of the Tour de France.

Consistent with best practice, comprehensive preparations began…ah…the night before…um…around Howe’s dining room table. Healthy amounts of protein and vegetable items were consumed, along with grape and wheat-derived beverages, in an atmosphere of maximum sociability.

7am and SharkBite and Howe are in Bite’s rented station wagon, en-route to Aigle. Today’s objective is the Verbier La Romandie Classic, a special event conceived by the organisers (and, as we’d soon see, the sponsors) of the annual Tour de Romandie pro UCI race. It would be a cyclosportive with a difference: start with 90 or so kms of cycling in a marshalled and escorted peleton (cruising beside the vineyards and fields of the Sion valley floor), rise gradually from Martigny to Le Chable, then—upon arrival in Le Chable—hit the first timing station at the base of the climb and let the demons rip as 500 or so riders do their best against the clock to pound it up to the Verbier finish line. Not your usual format, and it produced some interesting experiences.

Summary of race profile: flat…followed by one big ol’ JFG ‘er.

Howe and Bite pulled up to the suburban retail zone parking lot where the start was taking place and headed to the pre race registration area (which turned out to be inside a large 5 storey gymnasium kind of building). Everything went smoothly, with both race numbers and freebie gift bags and jerseys being obtained with typical Swiss efficiency. The usual next step ensued: Ranch riders searching out and evaluating toiletary facilities. It was while waiting for Rider Howe in the hallway for a few minutes that an important realisation dawned. In a concrete alcove all along this hallway there were bicyles stored in racks. But Sharkbite noted that these were not road bikes for today’s event: they were track bikes. It was at this point that both riders realised that when they registered at tables set up in the large open floor of this round gymnasium type building, they were not (as they had unconsciously assumed) in some generic conference centre space. This place was a full on bad-boy velodrome…in the middle of Aigle Switzerland!!! This of course started to make more sense in the context of the UCI Cycling Academy being about a mile away, closer to the centre of Aigle. (An institution riders Howe and Sharkbite were only too familiar with, given the tendency of a small group of UCI academy juniors to show up at the Martigny Mauvoisin race and comprehensively blow away the field…and the hopes and dreams of your hapless Ranch brethren.)

The organisers were requesting that all participants wear the green Vaudoise assurance jerseys given to the all the riders, but Howe and Bite had other plans: the colours they displayed today, would, as usual, be black, white, red and yellow.

A totally phenomenal, clear, blue sky, sunny day was dawning: a Ranch day.

Learning from the Gruyere experience, Howe and Bite arrived at the start area in good time and managed quick vaults over the barriers and into the start area (when the burly Swiss man charged with controlling the start group size had turned the other way to bellow at some other dude who got caught doing the same).

Although Howe and Bite couldn’t see it at the time, up ahead the full escort and cavalcade of motorcyle marshalls had formed.

…The customary Skoda station wagon escorts, complete with flashing yellow lights.

…And our leather-clad pals from the Valais Motorcyclers Federation. Respect.

Yup, we had a great big convoy…and she was a beautiful sight.

Howe and Bite slotted comfortably into a mid-peleton position in the long, snaking sea of green jerseys and sat back to enjoy the tour of the flatlands. They knew what their only priority was: conserve energy. And on this beautiful day they had about 498 available humanoids (sitting atop a wide selection of the best bicycle technology out there) to choose from, like they were put there specifically to help Howe and Bite achieve their plan. Even better, quite a few of these other humanoids were sized and shaped to provide maximum headwind-sheltering benefits to anyone behind them. God bless the chubby, Swiss weekend warrior: we like the way you roll (as long as you do it in front of us, not beside us).

It became clear pretty quickly that this phase around the valley and on towards Le Chable was not going to be like any “normal” event. With it not being a closed-road event, for safety reasons the Swissies wanted the escort to hold the peleton in one long pack (and to keep it on the right side of the road only). This meant that permanent vigilance was required, because even though the peleton was half a kilometre long, there were immediately accordion effects every time the front reached any incline, roundabout, or negative change in velocity. All of a sudden, hands of riders up front would wave, the squeal and smell of brake pads on carbon would break out, and Howe and Bite would have to drop half their velocity and be careful not to impact riders in front.

Despite this challenge, things passed smoothly. Totally clear skies, warm temperatures, views of the mountains, fields and vineyards…and locals lining the way all along the route to clap and cheer. This wasn’t racing, but it was a training ride like no other.

There were only a couple of deviations from the energy conservation goal during this 2 hour period. First, Bite and Howe both simultaneously felt the need to urinate on the Swiss countryside. There were two dangers inherent in this: 1) Not getting slammed by some dufus from behind as you pulled off to the side of the road and stopped, and 2) the obvious: re-joining the peleton once you were a couple of minutes off the back. Howe and Bite executed successfully and quickly on satisfying their biological needs and were able to power back together to reach the whirring green peleton beast. A burst of effort that provided a welcome stimulation and prep, by getting the heart rate up.

The second energy expenditure came in the gradual climbing section from Martigny to Le Chable. The riders stuck religiously behind others, but found themselves nonetheless moving gradually forward in the pack, as heavy riders moved into slower relative speeds once climbing a gradual slope.

But with around 3 hours down, the duo duly rolled into the last couple of kilometres to Le Chable. SharkBite narrowly escaped a peleton wipe out on the gradual climb from Sembrancher, when a rider to his side lost his pedal, bumped Bite and Bite bumped the guy on the other side. A close one, but no one went down.

Coming into Le Chable, it was time to move into stage 2 of the race plan. SharkBite pulled over beside a field and reduced his bodily fluid burden. Howe pulled into the food station before the final climb. Both of them knew what was coming next…

JFG ‘er

And of course, while we were doing a lot of that, we weren’t really able to enjoy much of this…

Alex Moos of the BMC mountian bike team brings it home in a winning 24:56 time for the climb.

Rider Howe brings it home in a hard fought 44:52, pushing through an energy crash and the midday heat.

SharkBite, oxygen starved and confused, wonders what the numbers 36:24 mean, where he is and what he is doing there…and takes a photo of himself in the hope it might help him figure it out some day.

In a sea of green, the Ranch is duly represented. Rider Dazed (L) and Rider Confused (R) absorb the sweet, sugary taste of energy replenishing beverages. They smile at a job well done. And they smile because they know the secret weapon to beat Contador’s time by 50% every time, with no performance enhancing drugs or doping required…

the telecabine. Yeah, baby.

Alberto, eat your heart out. And enjoy those preserved meats, by the way.

P.S. Verbier TV put together this short piece on the event, complete with Ranch-appropriate 70’s porn movie soundtrack.

Gruyere Sportif–Smell the Cheese, Feel the Breeze

2011-10-01T13:13:00.001+01:00

So much to cover, so little time to post it. It’s now been a month since yet another successful tactical strike by Ranch forces. Let’s break that down—plus other Summer ’11 updates--for the global Ranch-loving community…

First, we don’t really have that many photos to post…but this one above obviously says it all as far as the summer ’11 Verbier rides went. Good times in the heartland of Ranch ridership.

The summer activities by the Verbier chapter included yet another successful participation back on July 24 by Riders Howe and Sharkbite (this time accompanied by local Verbier rider Raph) in the greatest regionally-organised, homemade bicycle race of all…the annual Le Chable Mauvoisin race. Howe and Bite commenced the day with a descent down the Verbier road at about 7.30am in steady rainfall. Our heroes’ technical cornering skills were tested both by the soaking road conditions and the finger-numbing chill. A slow descent indeed, but the boys made it down safe. As usual, this year’s race featured a start in Martigny for semi-pro Swiss types with fancy “elite” cycling licenses…and a normal human being race starting from Le Chable.

It was a chilly, wet morning and both Howe and Bite were feeling it, big time. Even the long pre-start visit to the local café (including pre-race stress testing of its toiletary facilities), plus some uphill warm-up rides, could not remove the chill on the bones.

Yet another strong performance from Howe and Bite ensued. About 15 or 20km and a good 1000m of steady alps climbing up to the Mauvoisin inn…and once you get going on that, you warm up pretty quick. Both riders deployed their local “domain expertise” to the max, knowing the steeper ramps to lay down bursts on…and where to hold energy in reserve…in what is a long and testing climb. And this year, there were no flat tyres for RiderHowe.

There was one clear objective: show the rear of the London Ranch cycling jersey to as many local “Happy Sport” team riders as humanly possible. Unfortunately, it became clear that some of these local mountain-goat-biker-men are definitely not human at all, since a couple of them beat the Ranchers to the top (including the overall race winner, who put in a mind-crushing 51 mins 30 secs time). But every year the Happy Sport fear levels grow, as the Ranch boys push it to new levels and lay down new PBs each time. This time the combination of RiderHowe’s relentless power deployment and slick Cervelo frame brought him to the top in 1:12.02, while SharkBite duelled with relentless junior riders to bring it home with a 1:04.48 time.

Promptly recognising the tit nipply temperature conditions, the boys checked in to the Mauvoisin inn for the best thing of all: a long, long coffee in the warm café with maximum post-race banter.

Mauvoisin was just one of many, many excellent summer 2011 riding experiences. Here is a typical shot…LoneWolf dorking it just above Volleges. What a day! What a view!

And here we have 3 stooges at the top of the Le Levron climb, taking a pause to discuss future applications for lycra textiles in the 21st century.

Summer rides to Le Levron, Mauvoisin dam, Bruson, Champex, you name it, meant that when August 28, 2011 rolled around, Riders LoneWolf, Howe and SharkBite were ready to tackle a healthy gran fondo challenge. That challenge came in the form of Switzerland’s Gruyere Sportif…

The tactical strike began with ruthless precision at around 6.30am, when the LoneWolf-mobile swung by both Howe’s and Bite’s houses to form up the squad and begin the mission deployment. 3 bikes on the roof and the boys were quickly on the road to Bulle, inland from Lausanne, to arrive early enough for pre-race check in and bike preparation activities. En route, the squad exploited its know-how from past missions to the fullest. Pre-fuelling on snacks and liquids and, most importantly, swinging in to the local gas station before race arrival in order to yet again test the ruggedness of Swiss plumbing installations. Anybody who saw two grown men, at 7.45am on the outskirts of Bulle, enter the hallway of the Tamoil gas station and super shop was probably pretty confused by the levels of excitement and enthusiasm displayed when LoneWolf and Bite found the two doors for the men’s and women’s 1-person facilities. (Quote of the day as LoneWolf peels left and grabs the open door of the Women’s toilet “Psyched…it’s Women’s and Handicapped!!!” Sight of the day: seeing the expression on the face of some swiss lady when Wolf emerged 5 minutes later, grinning, satisfied and race-ready.)

This race was a new challenge for the boys, as the route was unknown and the race—a UCI organised event—attracts a couple of thousand riders keen to explore the alpine scenery via a slickly organised sportif event. Riders Howe and Bite vowed to try and take it at a reasonable pace: 120km and 2000m of climbing lay ahead and both riders had had interrupted riding patterns in the preceding couple of weeks. LoneWolf, as usual, was shaved and ready to hunt.

The team got split right from the get go, as LoneWolf managed to climb over the start barriers towards the mid front of the couple of thousand starters, whereas Howe and Bite were channelled around right to the back. 5 mins after the start gun sounds, and under glorious sunny, summer skies, Howe and Bite were on the move and executing the race plan.

Tour de France level race-marshalling (including motorcycle marshalls, yellow flag and whistle-blowing guys on any road furniture, and comprehensive race direction signage) immediately distinguished this event as truly first class rider experience. From the outset, Howe and Bite powered carefully and mercilessly through a couple of thousand riders, and made their way through the first gentle climbs towards more competent cyclists.

A total breakdown of the route is impossible, but the highlights were roughly as follows. After heading up into the mountains, a long gradual valley climb in the direction of a mountain pass leading to Gstaad. This culminated in a final few kilometres of proper hill climbing, where Howe and Bite powered cautiously to the first summit and rest station.

Next came possibly one of the coolest descents ever…down 15km of single track farm road. From the outset, it was punctuated by riders on either side of the road, having either wiped out or with some kind of mechanical failure. It was all about keeping it smooth and controlled. The winding descent led from open pastures down into a forested valley stream zone, with the road winding through trees next to the stream for many kilometres. It was obvious that the road had been swept of any dangerous gravel and race signs warned of unusually sharp corners, but every corner was a new exploration and the boys never knew what would be coming next. Moments of sunlight alternated with stretches in the forested shade, and corner after corner unfolded, with brief bursts of top gear power applied in between. Rider heaven.

From there the course descended into Gstaad and began another long, gradual climb towards Le Diableret. Howe and Bite got separated into separate groups by intervening riders on the descent to Gstaad, then re-united near the summit of this next climbing section. At the top, another rest station, another opportunity to urinate all over the Swiss countryside. Unfortunately Bite’s urination hid him from Howe, so the team were separated again. But at this point it didn’t matter. It was all about tooling down another big descent, linking up with a groupetto, powering through the third and final climb, then yet another truly amazing descent…to the final rest station…then 40km of flat or gentle downwards climbing (unfortunately against a strong headwind) to bring it back into Bulle and the finish line. Both Howe in front, and Bite behind, managed to slot into highly effective 12 to 18 man groupettos, that worked with clock-like leader alternations to bring each pack home with maximum energy efficiency. And make no mistake, doing that last flat 40k into a headwind solo would have been an experience to avoid.

Rider Howe. 119.99km down and 0.01km to go, JFG’in ‘er to cross the line and do the Ranch proud. Final finishing times: SharkBite 4:36, Howe 4:31, Wolf 4:00.

Back at the race finish, the boys reunited promptly at the Wolf-mobile, re-fueled, packed up and exited quickly. Start at 9, finished and out at 2pm. And the Swiss race efficiency kicks in, with text messages to all the riders with their finishing times…and in LoneWolf’s case, the news that his top quartile finishing time qualified him for the UCI world championships (which unfortunately turned out to be in Belgium the following weekend, so that obviously wasn’t going to happen).

Grabbing snacks from the gas station on the way out of town, the crew comprehensively debriefed on the race en route back to Verbier and fully restored all energy levels.

Mission team returns to base, sporting (R to L) Gruyere event cycling jersey, classy Mauvoisin race souvenir T-shirt and, classiest of all, Ranch gilet/wife-beater top.

This man has found a new mentality…and it’s closer to his heart. RiderHowe sets new post-race fashion highs, twinning the Ranch wife-beater top with black nylon track suit pants, stylin shades, and (not quite in shot) ball cap featuring the Val De Bagnes “two homies in a bathtub” regional logo. Dress for success.

Ride the Rockies 2011- Breastmilk Express

2011-06-26T04:50:00.032+01:00

How much is enough? When do we quit? What obstacles will we overcome to achieve a goal? At the end of the day, what are we made of? This past June 11-17, 2011, Ranch West Coast explored these questions when faced with the layman's version of a cycling "Grand Tour."

Ride the Rockies (RTR) is an organized and supported 6 day summer cycling tour through the high alpine Colorado Rocky Mountains. http://ridetherockies.com/

The ride covers 400+ miles total with an average of 60-80 miles distance and 2000-4000 feet of vertical climbing per day, linked point-to-point over multiple mountain ranges topping 7000-12000 feet in elevation.

Some months ago, RiderTurbo and RiderMama registered for the event in anticipation of cycling through the picturesque state of Colorado on a glorious summer ride with 2000 of their closest cycling friends.

As luck would have it, complications arose. RiderMama gave birth to RiderSasha on February 25, 2011. This meant that RiderMama would either need to sacrifice breast feeding four months into RiderSasha's infancy, or devise a way to breast feed on the cycling trip every three hours during daily rides of 6-7 hours or more. Aside from the logistical difficulty of breastfeeding on the roadside in the middle of nowhere each day, would lactic acid accumulation in the breast milk on long rides cause it to taste sour and be rejected by young RiderSasha when she had not yet made the transition to solid food or baby formula?

Complicating matters, RiderMama's very special private graduation ceremony celebrating the glorious completion of her three-year Medical Fellowship in Oncology at UCLA was unexpectedly scheduled for the first day of the RTR tour, in direct conflict with the event registration, pre-arranged travel plans and first two days of the ride. Talk about bad timing.

Beyond that, if the Ranch figured out how to manage the challenges, what would we do with the now-four-year-old RiderZoe? Depart and ride bicycles for a week without her?

And if all this wasn't enough, the apparent final straw: one week prior to the event, RiderTurbo tripped and fell on an early morning run with the dog, breaking his distal radius near the wrist. This required a rigid blue fibreglass cast placed from hand to elbow in order to immoblize the right wrist and hand.

Could Turbo ride with a arm cast over a multiday cycling event on top of Mama's breastfeeding? Maybe grandparents could drive the kids and time breast pump-breaks in the middle of the ride each day? Breastfeeding, broken wrist, schedule conflicts, and questionable logistics with kids in a 400 mile mountain cycling tour 1000 miles from home. Was it enough to make the Ranch quit?
Frailty is not a characteristic associated with the Ranch.

Those who know it as more than a gratuitous moniker, know that the Ranch represents a way of life, a philosophy forged in the rough and tumble landscape of the Western U.S, Canada, the Pampas of Argentina and places alike where men are cut from a different cloth, women are hearty, where healthy livestock roam the plains under a vast, blue sky. The Ranch isn't just a catchy white and yellow lycra outfit with colorful stars and a black horseshoe for decoration. Ranchers are durable individuals who buck up and get the job done no matter the circumstances.

Turbo and Mama rescheduled flights to attend the graduation in L.A. and depart immediately to join the RTR peloton on the third day of riding in the Colorado mountains.

Turbo dismissed doctor's orders to stay off the bike with an armcast. Mama pre-pumped and stockpiled 120 ounces of frozen breastmilk in reserve ice coolers, then got out the breast pump car charger and scheduled rendezevous points in the mountains to "pump and dump" roadside while on the move cycling, bypassing the risk of "lactic laced" milk that RiderSasha would refuse but keeping the breast milk flowing so that Mama's supply didn't dry up.

Ranch grandparents slotted in as private drivers of the support vehilcle to deliver breast pumps, bottles and water to Mama at designated points each day. The Ipad was loaded with $100 worth of the "Fresh Beat Band", "Bubble Guppies", "Imagination Movers" and sundry math and alphabet games for RiderZoe to enjoy while riding backseat in the Jeep with Grandparents.

The Breastmilk Express was leaving the station as planned. It was time to cowboy up and see what we were made of.

And leave it did. After a lovely ceremony with accolades for the now fully fledged oncologist RiderMama, the crew jetted to Colorado and met up with RTR in Avon, just outside of Vail. From there, the team pursued each day with planning and vigor.

The high mountains provided a beautiful backdrop, complete with magnficent views, great climbs and descents and snowy backdrops in the higher elevations. The trip doubled as a family vacation. Each day after riding, the family would join up for dinner and activities. A hike to a waterfall. A dinner out. A chinese food smorgasboard. A nature walk by the river. Playtime in the park. All in all, it turned out to be a magnificent week, culminating with the proud finish of Turbo and Mama in Georgetown, Colorado after hundreds of miles of mountain riding.

What seemed like an insurmountable logistical challenge turned out to be the best riding experience of our lives. Next year, in lieu of the likely long-lost idea of RAAM, we invite all Ranchers to join us for this week-long cycling event and combined family vacation in the most beautiful of settings. Maybe we can all do it together then without breastfeeding and broken arms. It just might the best experience you'll ever have on a bicycle.

Felice Gimondi 2011

2011-05-16T23:37:00.012+01:00

So there it was. Another gathering of the Ranch for a festive Felice Gimondi. Ranch riders descended from Vienna, London, and Verbier, all prepared for victory. Rider Howe and Rider NewGuy (Kevin Connors) rolled in to Bergamo having treked 3.5hrs from Verbier. Rider Zinni arrived from Vienna. Rider EzE and Rider Reido in from London.

Registration required much negotiation, as most of us did not send in our Doctor's notes, and Rider Howe was posing as Rider Cahli. In the end, after signifcant negotiation with Race Officials, all of whom appeared to wear pink, Rider Zinni was able to use his local toung to lash out a solution with the Lead Race Official who had ridden a set of fabulous camel toes into the race HQ.

Moving onto pre-race preparations, the Ranch found savory local grub at a fine establishment in the center of La Cita Alta. Local wine and beer was happily consumed to wash down the high carbo pasta intake. Rider Reido was successful to leave multiple gaseous green cloud bombs to stimulate conversation. When asked has he been successful bringing his new girlfriend to blow her load, he responded with conviction, "oooh yeah, with my hand". Marveling in his manhood's (lack of) notable accomplishments, Rider EzE revealed his dinner fixation of an image of the waitress head-bobbing his checkbook for that extra tip. When photo emerged of the team taken by the fat American lady at the next table, it was noted that Rider Howe had mysteriously dropped from the photo while reaching down to finger her belt loop.

Post dinner and listening to his senses, Rider Zinni hit the road back to the hostel in Rider Howe's hairdresser car, while the rest of the Ranch Rider crew followed Rider NewGuy across the square to a local watering hole to sample some highly recommend herbal local liquor known to loosen the bowels (for the following morning's absolutely vital pre-race dump). The problem was that Rider NewGuy kept ordering rounds, with another crushing herbal shot and then a local tap beer to wash it down. Ranch Riders were were pushed out at closing, only to find themselves lured into another local watering hole for a round of Wheat Beer. Again, faces turned, with a local gal in the corner especially interested, as the Rancher conversation drifted to Rider NewGuy convincing everyone in a rather loud and slurring banter of the merits of cornholling.

The morning of the race, Ranchers all awoke to a downpour of rain. Ranchers were to later learn at the race start that the long course was cancelled to to excessive rain and some snow. Several Ranchers reported near vomiting at breakfast when trying to consume grub on the back of the previous night's activities. In the end, all Ranchers rallied and found themselves riding down from the hostel to the start grid to slicing eagerly through consecutive sheets of hammering rain. Arriving with 15min until the start, much of the usual pre-race excitement was clouded by doubt around the extent of the downpour that proceeded to soak the bones and leave the shivers. While waiting for the start gun to blast, Rider Howe was even spotted trying to sit on his saddle in a (hopeless) attempt to "keep it dry for the race".

At the crack of 07:00, the loudspeakers roared and the riders were off. Puddles of water had turned into pools connected by streams. All Gimondi riders held their speeds down as the field nervously weaved through the streets of Bergamo out onto the course. Everyone was thinking about the recent death in the Giro and folks were being responsible, with the exception of a few serous douche bags who sped thru the pack.

The first climb was a welcome opportunity to try to warm frozen limbs and take a break from the wall of water shooting into Ranchers' faces that was streaming off the back tires of the riders in front of us. Thankfully, the rain eventually stopped 1hr into the race and the field began to spread.

Ultimately, each Rancher returned back to the finish line, victorious :

Rider Zinni : following two punctures and a broken chain, all within the first 30min of the race . . !, then getting lost (?) at a roundabout only to find himself back on the course, he finished arms raised as he sped thru the tape to take the checkered flag.

Rider Howe : was in the groove, had found a group of like minded riders and a pace of sheer speed and "atta boy" courage, only to suddenly look-up and notice that his crew had mistakenly chosen the short course. Nonetheless, Rider Howe was seen nearing the finish line out-sprinting all of his new found mates, and then jamming his air-pump into the last fella's wheel to secure a podium finish behind Rider Zinni.

Rider EzE : was triumphant to rise from the ashes, eat a few bites of his breakfast, dodge the tickle in the back of the throat begging for a post-breakfast vomit as his system was rebelling from a third consecutive night of heavy alcoholic energy drinks and sleep deprivation, only to saddle up to the start with a cool sense of calm. Rider EzE was later spotted in the finish line with his hand on the ass of the Avis Rent-a-car chick, and accordingly found himself up on the podium for a notable accomplishment, of sorts.

Rider NewGuy : was calm and collected having been the ringleader in the pre-race bar hop, to whizz through breakfast, shirk any form of extra clothing (not even a vest, arm warmers or a rain jacket) and start the race in only a shorty top, while the sky was raining cats and dogs. Rider NewGuy disappeared into the crowd to post a remarkable 4h25min for the medio course. The courageous effort prompted race organizers to create a fourth podium for yet again another Ranch rider to step up into the glory.

Rider Reido : was also seen concentrating hard to hold back post breakfast near full hurl following previous nights untimely bar crawl, but found courage sitting on the can for his third pre-race dump. Fluids flowing from all orphus holes, Rider Reido's shorts were already soiled and soaked before he hit the sopping streets to head off to the start grid. In the end, Rider Reido was noted for his courageous descending and perseverance to replace a blown-out tube, to sprint into a commendable podium finish.

In the end, the Ranchers all walked away satisfied that yet another Gran Fondo was universally conquered.

We are all 108!

2011-05-10T21:20:00.003+01:00

I didn't know the Rider but I was watching the Giro on the Gazzetta yesterday when they mentioned the accident. Since the news of his death I can't stop thinking about this. This guy was 26 and was doing something he loved, he had a 5-mths pregnant wife... Today's stage was very moving, some of the videos on the Gazzetta.it are very moving, seeing all these spectators showing "108 Presente" (108 I'm here.. 108 was his number at the Giro) really freaked me out... Crazy you can die doing something you love doing and something that pays your bills.... RIP Wouter...

Ranch Victory - Xterra Renegade

2011-04-27T22:52:00.020+01:00

Victory.

The word rings sweet, its realization elusive.

But the time has come. The Ranch has evolved.

On April 2, 2011, RiderTurbo won first place in the Xterra Renegade Off-Road Triathlon in Bonelli Park, San Dimas, Los Angeles, California. Competition in the recreation division could not be characterized as strong or deep. But a win is a win. The analog of a Sprint distance triathlon conducted alongside a competitive Olympic distance race, the Xterra recreation division consisted of a 1/2 mile open water lake swim, 7.5 mile mountain bike and 3 mile trail run. Turbo swam smooth in the lake, clobbered the mountain bike and harkened Rocky Mountain training days of old to run the rugged trails and cross the line ahead of all-comers. RiderMama, RiderZoe and Rider Sasha cheered at transitions and near the finish line as Turbo flew team colors during the award ceremony, getting called up on stage with a Ranch sleeveless jersey. Even got a Victory mug to prove it. New score. Ranch: 1. Competition: Zero.

Results and event website below.

Xterra Renegade Triathlon, Los Angeles, California, USA
Xterra Recreation Division Results

Pro Corner -- Ranch Fanbase Grows by One

2011-04-26T19:46:00.013+01:00

Substituted the wheels for touring bindings, skins and hefty mountain backpack and completed the final segments of the Haute Route from Arolla to Zermatt over Easter. (Made it from Chamonix to Arolla last year, then had to abort due to tough weather...so this year me and my pals picked up where we left off to finish the trip.) No photos of that (yet), but...

Today, was taking a chill day and hanging out near Sion. Doing pointless relaxation stuff. Like buying superflous outdoor gear, buying "distinctive" local wine, lunch outside in the 25C sunshine, horking down superb locally made gelato etc etc. Drive back to Verbier about 5.30pm and, as we pass Martigny, Susie comes out with the magic words (that you don't really believe you are hearing) "hey, there is some kind of bike race going on over there".

Bing...180 degree turn is executed at the next roundabout. Bang...car is parked up. And boom...we are out to explore. Run right into the Garmin Cervelo team truck and they tell me it's the prologue for the Tour of Romandie. Sure enough, at 2 minute intervals, the pro boys are coming by, one by one, on the techno-wonder time trial bikes. Out comes the blackberry..."gotta get some shots for the blog".

It was about a 4km time trial prologue. Times in about the 3mins 50 range from what I could see.

Here we see some AG2R La Mondial guy cranking it for the finish line.

Pretty sure this is Ivan Basso, bringing it home.

Props to the local band, blasting out (I kid you not) The Pogues "Fairytale of New York". (Further proof, as if any was needed, that no one will ever, ever, ever figure out what makes Swiss people tick.) (Nice unintended pun there, btw.)

A lot of people would have used some two foot long telephoto lens wing-dinger on a ridiculously expensive pro level digital camera to get a shot like this. The SharkBite way, however, is easier: use your blackberry, take 11 crap photos because of the time delay on the dumb photo snapper thing, miss a bunch more while fiddling with the little zoom thingy that only seems to randomly work when it wants to...then finally get one right.

Bike porn, Cervelo style. This one belongs to...

David Millar, Team Garmin Cervelo. And what is his favourite thing to do after placing 5th in the opening prologue of a key pro tour?

That's right, you know it: pose for a primo photo for the Ranch, with the 'Bite!!!

Quality cannot be bought, baby. It must be lived.

And you never know when quality is going to come your way. Viva La Ranch!

How to justify spending $12,000 on an electric bike.

2011-04-20T22:07:00.013+01:00

To stoke the summer blog season for the Ranch, I offer below a little review I wrote for Optibike in March 2010. A year and a half into field testing, we are CRAZY about these units. Highly recommended addition to the Ranch equipment fleet for those who have the coin and the mission. As an added bonus, they are produced in the Colorado home state of RiderLoneWolf, RiderMama. myself and honorary Ranch blog commentator Tea, on the very same roads where I cut my teeth cycling as a teenager on the lipstick red, 29 lb Tawainese made American Flyer road bike in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. -Turbine

“ How do you justify spending $12000 on a bicycle? You don’t. How do you justify spending $12000 on a second car, local commuter vehicle and high-end mountain bike all wrapped into one? Easy. Its called an Optibike.

My wife and I have ridden our 850R and 850R Helia Optibikes for six months daily in all types of conditions.

Our conclusion: the Optibike is the most innovative, convenient and exhilarating form of transportation invented in the past three decades. In urban environments within a 10 mile radius, the Optibike will transport you door-to-door faster than any other vehicle. Light and agile, it is easy to slip through traffic, use bike lanes, short-cut across small streets, alleys, parks, open spaces, parking lots and sidewalks, then park for free directly in front of wherever you are going. Average speeds can easily be 20-25 mph without getting sweaty, which leaves you in clean, presentable condition to attend a meeting in regular clothing.
For the majority of local trips when you need to carry only a few items, U-lock and cable in a backpack when it is not raining, the Optibike will replace your second car or motorcycle/scooter. My wife and I commute to work every day on our Optibikes faster and cheaper than we would in cars. The Optibike even beats our motorcycles and scooters locally because we get there just as fast, but always find front-door parking, and pay no parking meters or parking fines, not to mention using zero gasoline, creating zero tailpipe emissions and never wasting time stopping at gasoline stations.

On the road, the Optibike enables non-cyclists or slower cyclists to keep up with avid road cyclist enthusiasts, potentially giving friends or partners more time to spend together. On the trail, the Optibike is the most awesome form of mountain bike we have ever experienced. It climbs like a Himalayan mountain goat, carves single track with awesome agility, suspension and traction, and replaces what would otherwise be a prohibited highly-powered motocross bike on non-motorized parks, trails and mountains.

If you live in a hilly area, the Optibike may open up options for local errands, enabling you to climb hills around your home without getting too sweaty and over-exerting yourself when you simply want to run to the store or visit a friend or neighbor outside of walking distance. If you are a fitness enthusiast who uses heart rate, cadence and power in structured cycling workouts, you can do that on an Optibike too.

If you calculate the thousands of dollars you save on insurance premiums, annual license plate renewals, maintenance, SMOG checks, tires, oil, filters and fuel of a second vehicle, not to mention parking costs, the Return on Investment for the $12000 Optibike can easily reach the 15-20% level – i.e. $2000 or more per year — not bad for a “bicycle” that replaces a second car. A regular bicycle cannot make this claim because it cannot practically replace a vehicle like an Optibike can.

The Optibike can be configured with a “Chariot”-type bicycle trailer to transport the kids or a “Bob”-type trailer to haul gear bags. We are considering “Old Man Mountain” racks for full suspension bicycles to do touring on our Optibikes. The psychological benefit of knowing that you burn no gasoline and use very little depreciating material (i.e.65lb bike rather than 3000 lb metal car or 400lb motorcycle) to get from A to B is gratifying.

In sum, the Optibike is an extremely useful and convenient tool that leaves you wondering why millions of other people in cities don’t use it.

Once you get past the sticker shock and realize that the Optibike represents a second car, motorcycle/scooter and high end mountain bike all built-into-one, it becomes much easier to justify the price, particularly once you own one and begin to enjoy the benefits of using it. Coming from a couple who did extensive research before buying, we highly recommend the Optibike, particularly for people who fit the usage patterns described.

RiderTurbo

Santa Monica, CA”

Season Opener: Jackson Pole, Pedal, Paddle

2011-04-01T20:07:00.011+01:00

An action packed winter for Ranch West Coast was punctuated on Feb 25 with the glorious birth of RiderSasha, daughter of RiderMama and RiderTurbo, little sister to RiderZoe, family member to Magic the yellow labrador.

After a brilliant winter of skiing at Mammoth Mountain and Mountain High in California, plus a few days in Colorado, Ranch West jetted up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming to race on March 26, 2011. The mission: relay race in the Jackson Hole Ski Club's famous Pole, Pedal Paddle race.

The race consists of a 3 mile downhill alpine ski race on the old Women's World Cup Downhill course followed by 10km cross-country skate ski, 20 mile bicycle time trial and 10 mile river kayak. Weather conditions are notoriously fickle in the Teton Valley in early spring and the team was prepared for anything from blustery snow to beaming sunlight on a cool, crisp spring morning.

RiderRenegade (AKA RiderMaverick), organized the event and hosted the fam at his Jackson pad. The plan was a relay: RiderRengade's 11 year old son "A-Train" on the downhill, Renegade himself on the XC skate ski, Turbo on the bicycle and Renegade plus partner in the Kayak. It didn't take much to get RiderMama to step up and pull front seat in the Kayak. But wait! SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH 4 WEEKS AGO and is still breastfeeding!

No mind. Despite deliberations with Turbo about possible detrimental impacts of decreased breastmilk production and excess lactic acid buildup in milk that might result from a 1 hour + all out kayak race effort, Mama was determined. She jumped in and gunned it.

Let there be no doubt now, if there ever was before: Mama is one tough cookie, a glutton for punishment, risk, pain, and basically just one hearty girl who loves getting out there and racing outdoors.

The race went well with A-train clocking up a 4:18 downhill, Renegade a 28:00 XC skate ski, Turbo a 55:00 time trial (7/63) and Renegade/Mama a 1h 9m Kayak (24/66).

This gave the group a 4th place finish out of 10 in the Recreational Men's Team division despite having an 11 year old who did the downhill ski and Mama who had recently given birth in the Kayak with Renegade. Respectable, no doubt:

Overall Results

The race was followed by a group lunch outside on a beer garden deck of 43 North restaurant watching the 2011 World Championship Snowmobile Hill Climb at SnowKing ski area, home to many of our tobacco chewin', beer drinkin', tattoo wearin', greasy fingernail bearin' friends from the motorsports world. Video of the 2008 race that was very similar:

Snowmobile Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoMXCed0XF4&feature=related

The next day, Renegade led Turbo and Mama on a 1.5 hour hike up off the tram at 11,000 feet with skis strapped to heli-packs where the threesome then skied off the ridge and got some deep powder face shots in the middle couloir of the Cody Bowl (pictured below)

Renegade and Turbo Crew Photo (Mama with Sasha in Baby Bjorn in middle, Zoe on Turbo's shoulders)

Jet home to the pad in sunny L.A.

New Ranch Recruit...

2011-03-12T13:23:00.005Z

In an attempt to strengthen the global footprint of The Ranch, I recently took a recruiting trip in Zanzibar... thought I had something special in this fella: wasn't scared of a bit of sand in his chain, maintained a strong cadence on the fixie while sporting a pair of havaianas, conscientious of the excess weight that comes with the helmet and water bottles. All around seemed like he was up for challenge to join the ranch....

BUT... he forgot Rule number one...

Never get off the bike!!

Happy riding fellas.

January Ranchup

2011-01-09T18:53:00.001Z

January 2010, London. There have been many months of Ranchers not seen together. Sure maybe here and there 2 may run into each other but it's been a long time since 4 members of the team sat down for a coffee, nevermind have a race together. So while Noshow was in London for a brief visit this weekend, Rider Cah Li flew in from the states to return to his chosen city, Rider Easy E has relocated back to London from Zurich and Zinni still steady as she goes taking care of the beautiful Sofia and working as per usual. This small crew of Ranchers made a point to find 30 minutes to sit down and have a coffee and catch up on news on a rare sunny January day in London. Sorely missed was the rest of the team - Crespo, Shark, Chiche, Pitts, Turbo, etc etc. In any event, it wouldn't be a Ranchup without proof hence here is the recording:

JFG 'er on the MTB-er

2011-01-02T09:45:00.059Z

Rider Sharkbite here, currently living life horizontally with a bad L4/L5 disc situation. So, time to update the blog with a photo montage from August's Grand Raid race, courtesy of some crazy cat who set up automatic cameras a few places along the route, then posted the results online.

Background: An annual 137km mountain bike race-o-rama from Verbier to Grimentz...

Friday, Aug 20. Riders Howe and Lone Wolf tied up with spousal commitments. Sharker decides to go for it and get some Grand Raid action. Drive down to Sion for pre-race registration and tech inspection. (Mountain bike hanging out the back of Howe's old Z3 beemer, using Howe's patented bungee cord/old cushion/plastic bag bike transport "system". Half way there the engine warning light comes on. Howe's response on the phone: "Just keep it under 4ooo rpm." ...Words to live by. Ranch wisdom.)

"Bonjour, je veux m'enregistrer pour ce badass mofo crazy bike race, mais par ce que je ne suis pas un imbecile totale, je vais faire la medium distance route from Heremence, 68 km, avec 2996 metres de vert, s'il vous plait."

Saturday, Aug 21. Awesome local and all-round problem-solving lady, Karen, drives me to Heremence at 4am in her station wagon for the 6am start time. Winding up the valley road in the blackness. Get to a long line of stopped/parked cars, blocking road. Time to get geared up and strike out on the bike to get to the start area.

1 hour later, race number on, banana down the hatch, several local bushes well hydrated, and with sunscreen in all the key places...Sharkbite rolls out in a dim sunrise with a few hundred other crazy mofos. A day of long, long dirt track climbing and descending begins, with a little mud and single track excitement along the way.

Top of the first long climb, passing through the footpaths of Madelon, a high altitude hamlet. Locals out on their doorsteps, cheering and clapping every rider as they pass through 4 foot wide village pathways. Awesome.

Next stop, alpine singletrack, where gnarly wiping-out is a distinct possibility. Manage to get through unscathed...and descend down into Evolene.

A pattern becomes evident: I steam by panting humanoids continuously on the ascents (keeping it real on the ten-year-old Cannondale F800 hardtail). Then, on the descents, the chubb-meisters come flying past again, on their hi-tech full-suss machines.

There is only one solution...plenty more climbing to come, so time to whip them all on the next ascents.

Throw down another 1200 metres vertical or so of solid climbing...and what do I get for it? A nice 1.5km or so of unrideable cowpath leading to steep rock-scree mountainside path. Which has to be scrambled up: pushing, carrying, throwing the bike...whatever you can do.

View down the slope of the "climb it on foot" section.

Photo demonstrates the workload involved pretty nicely...unclear why this dude is smiling.

Overhead view of the final stages of the climb on foot. Crowds lining the path on either side screaming and cheering. All of a sudden I hear some dudes calling out in French to clear the path, and I hear a trials motocross motorbike blasting up this crazy incline. Turns out it is the first of the pro riders who started in Verbier, with a few dedicated motocross nutbars driving the course with them to clear the route as they go. The pro guys had it down, too: they had little ropes on their bikes so they could sling their bike on their back as they pounded up the slope.

View from the top of the 1.5km scramble climb.

And the descent that follows.

Catching up to some slow-manoids from the short course start.

Enjoying the high alpine...in the E-Z rider, low saddle height, descending position.

Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that the climbing was not over. We crossed the high alpine saddle and linked to a dirt track...heading upwards for another 200m or so of vertical to summit a final col.

Approaching 2800m altitude. Not a pleasant gradient. Rough dirt and rock surface. The RANCH member depicted in this photo can be spotted by the fact that he is RIDING, not walking, the bicycle.

JFG'er.

"Uh oh. I think I Just F%*$in' Gave'er."

Here the final descent really does begin.

Now a lot of people ask me, "Hey 'Bite, how is that you bust out 3000m of vertical climbing and descending on a 10 year old hardtail with about 50mm of front suspension travel...and then bust across rocky mountain stream crossings with such needlepoint precision accuracy?"

Here's how...

(Do you actually think I would be crazy enough to try and ride across that kind of crap?)

Busting it into the finish line...

View back up the valley. The course came over the right hand side of the far ridgeline.

Nice Swiss add-on in the finish area: bike wash zone.

Followed by: hot shower tent. Awesome.

Followed by...body massage tent. (A total bike race best practice that deserves to be duplicated everywhere.)

After all that, I grabbed some grub, got on the bus service back to Verbier and started to get mentally prepared for...doing absolutely nothing for several days. All in all, an excellent outing, albeit a race with ample opportunity for body-trashing if you are not careful. The Ranch, however, is always careful.

Fastest Brit over the Heremence distance: Shark.

Fastest Canuck over the Heremence distance: Bite.

And SO totally not anywhere near as fast as the Swiss and French MTB speed-meisters over the Heremence distance: SharkBite.

Pals

2010-12-01T10:15:00.000Z

LOTOJA - Long Ride Two Man Relay

2010-09-20T22:10:00.024+01:00

LOTOJA is quirky little compound noun standing for "Logan To Jackson" among cycling afficionados nationwide and local residents of northeastern Utah and western Wyoming in the United States.

It is also the name given to the much revered and longest distance USCF sanctioned cycling event in the United States, held each September over the course of 206 miles (331km) starting in Logan, Utah and finishing Jackson, Wyoming. (link)

This past Saturday, September 11th, 2010, Ranch West Coast represented the team in a two-man relay with a close family friend and renowned real estate empresario, whom for the purpose of this blog, we will affectionately refer to as RiderMaverick. RiderTurbo represented the Ranch cycling with RiderMaverick over the 5 section course including two mountain stages. Turbo kicked off things early at 7:40am amid chilly fall temperatures, launching off the start and riding in 4 hours 18 minutes the first two sections consisting of 34 mile gradual uphill from Logan to Preston and 47 mile mountain section from Preston to Montpelier over Strawberry Pass including 3000ft of vertical climb ending at Feed Zone 3 (FZ3).

Turbo ran the Cervelo RS with triple drivetrain and Zipp 202s with a powertap SL+to keep things light, snappy and dialed on the numbers. Hammer Nutrition Perpetuem, Gel and Endurolytes formed Turbo's new, all-liquid nutrition protocol thankfully adopted for all long endurance events.

After a circus act transition consisiting of an unprepared RiderMaverick that cost the team a precious 10 minutes of downtime, Maverick powered an unbelievably fast section 3 from Montpelier to Afton , FZ3-FZ5, including the timed section crowning the King of the Mountains over the Salt River Pass. Disparagingly, the timing apparatus used by race organizers malfunctioned thus not collecting times or providing even a cursory retrograde emotional reward for Maverick's hard effort climb.

After significant traffic jams around the Afton transition area FZ5 in Maverick's new white Jeep Rubicon with snazzy zip down top, Maverick handed over the timing chip baton and Turbo jumped on and dropped sledge, riding the 34 mile section 4 from Afton to Alpine FZ5-FZ6 in one hour 24 minutes with help from a fast and furious peloton that included one rider who hit the pavement hard at 40 km/h after making contact with Turbo's rear wheel. With visions of RiderCrespo's recent little mishap, Turbo thanked the cycling gods and the caring hands at Vittoria rubber tire company for keeping him upright.

After a smooth T3, Maverick punched out a blistering section 5, FZ6-Finish, giving a total chip time of 10h 46 minutes and a pre-dusk finish at the base of the dramatic Grand Teton mountain peaks.

Full-body therapeutic massages, a steak, sweet potato and red wine dinner followed by videos of the Vancouver olympics at Maverick's magnificent Jackson pad polished off a super event where Ranch colors flew high. Pregnant Ridermama expressed envy and interest in riding the relay next year after adding another calf to the stable at Ranch West Coast.

Cote d'Azur

2010-08-23T07:06:00.001+01:00

This being Paris in August. Nobody is here so I decided to take a quick flight down to Nice for a couple of days of welcome back to the bike. It's been a little while since I've been riding regularly so I figured I needed a good dose of 10% grade climbs and 35degree heat to remember how much I love the sport.

So Fri night I hop on a plane and arrive in Villefranche sur Mer around 9:30pm. I open my bike bag when I get to the hotel and see my brake handle snapped off at the top and dangling there rendering the bike inoperable. Needless to say I was disappointed. So i went out for a bite to eat and to determine my options.

In the end I took a yellow pages and I called around the next morning to see who was open and if anyone had a super record brake they could sell me. The earliest of the 3 bike shops within an hour was opening at 8:30 so I drove the 45 minutes to Menton and found this tiny bike shop with two tattooed guys sitting out front smoking butts and drinking coffee.

The owner (less tattooed guy) took a look and said, sorry, you are out of luck. We don't have those and that brake is finished. The other mechanic more tattooed guy said, when i pulled a small broken piece out of my pocket that I had saved - oh, hang on, I may be able to jerry rig this temporarily.

Well, in the end he did. He made a homemade patch and screwed it all together so it worked! So newly re energized I scampered back to the hotel, changed and hit the road. The idea being 3 hours of see how I feel as I am riding.

on the decent from La Turbie to menton

So I left Villefranche and climbed up to Eze Village. Once there I climbed up to La Turbie and then decided to descend all the way into Menton. Well, once in Menton the options are to turn around and climb back up to La Turbie or go over the Col de La Madone named famous after Lance would test himself there. I was feeling ok so I hung a left at the turnoff and up I went. And up, and up and up. Luckily when I was in La Turbie I had refilled my bidons and had water. I climbed that bastard in 35 degree heat and I realized I had to ration my water about halfway through. I made it though and as I rolled over the top I had that great feeling of accomplishment through suffering.

A look back on the climb up Col de La Madone

So descent into La Turbie and a descent back home to Villefranche sur Mer and my 3 hours and 1400 meters of climbing was complete. Now to the beach and some lunch.

Sat night ended around midnight after a dinner among acquaintances at a Ranch style Asian restaurant in La Turbie. 5 euro starters, 10 euro mains. Was tasty.

Sunday morning, legs a bit stiff, a bit heavy but I was going. I stayed the night in Monte Carlo so left from there and decided I would climb back up to La Turbie then decide where to go. I took a road I hadn't taken before and as I was climbing I began to think, well, this feels like about a 10% grade, and I haven't eaten yet, and I hope it flattens out a couple degrees. Nope - extended 10% grades for way too far. I made it after an hour to La Turbie. Hungry? Yes. Hot? - yes. OK, a quick iced tea, pain au chocolat and now off to Pielle. So I climbed back up to the base of the backside of Madone, had a look around and descended back to Monte Carlo. 2 Hours, 700 meters ascent. Good enough. A bit of beach, some lunch and at the Airport for the flight back in the evening. Overall a great weekend to re find myself and the importance of taking care of the body and soul.

oh - and this one is a view from the studio i stayed in in Monte Carlo.

Riding Weekend in Como

2010-07-28T23:09:00.004+01:00

So I was chatting to NoShow today (by the way we are the only losers left in the RCL IB) and we decided that we all need a proper riding weekend in September. We both agreed that Lake Como is probably the easiest destination, great riding, easy logistic and stunning climbs. We could all go and climb the Ghisallo and ride around Lake Como. The place is stunning and the climbs are awesome. So if you are in just reply to this post and we will start organising...

The Only Way is Up: Le Chable - Mauvoisin 2010

2010-07-25T12:09:00.008+01:00

Wednesday, July 21…Rider Sharkbite finds a reference to the 40th annual Martigny to Mauvoisin cycle race on the Verbier website. A few emails later, the organisers are teed up to anticipate some Ranch presence on the weekend with Riders Howe and Lone Wolf on board, plus Howe’s visiting guest Richard (part-time resident of the nearby Grimentz valley). The French emails with the organisers establish that the Ranch should opt for the “classe populaire” category, starting from Le Chable at the base of Verbier. Apparently the Martigny start is for registered Swiss riders only, and is composed of elite and semi-pro riders (“whose times are about 1hr 15”…”tres, tres rapide”..that's "smmmokin' quick" to you and me.)

The Val de Bagnes, looking downhill towards Martigny

Flag of the Val de Bagnes…we like this spirit! Timeless image of a couple of medieval homies taking a load off in the hot tub. Equally applicable today, as a depiction of Lone Wolf and Howe discussing pro’s and con’s of alpine property ownership (in each case with the 70's rock star hair they wish they had) .

6.50 am Sunday July 25…The boys bundle up warm and descend from Verb to Le Chable. After the initial challenge of not being able to locate the pre-race registration point, they discover it in a café in the centre of the village. A good turn out of 70 or more riders are on hand. The team leave their backpacks and warm gear behind, pin their race numbers on, then get out and warm up the legs.

8am. Altitude 821m. Riders on their way. The boys check into the peleton for a nice opening drag up the gentle slopes of the valley floor. They know what lies ahead: 2 solid climbing sections, with a couple of short flatter sections after each, followed by a final third climb up to the Hotel de Mauvoisin (including switchbacks carved through vertical rock walls). The moment the first steeps begin, a pack of extra-hardcore locals are up out of the saddle and speed off. The Ranch drives on as riders string out.

9.05 to 9.20am. Altitude 1841m. The boys have all reached the finish and earned their reward: post-race coffees in the Hotel building to warm up. Various stories emerge...

Lone Wolf, just in from Colorado, was dogged by a weenie on his wheel for kilometres on end who then takes off when the finish line nears. The Lone Wolf would turn back and give him looks…but the dude would not share the load. He actually apologises to Lone Wolf afterwards. Lone Wolf’s civil but curt reply: “C’est dommage”—it’s sad.

Rider Sharkbite: nice even climb. Delayed by a downhill post-bus meeting three uphill cars in the middle of one-lane Lourtier, so he and others had to stop and wait. But that’s community racing. A hard grind all the way, trading the pace with a couple of locals over the final 5 kms. One of whom pulls beside and pats him on the back as they crank on through the final switchbacks. Ranch = Respect.

Rider Howe: nothing stops the Howe...

But why is this guy towing his kid 15 seconds ahead of Rider Howe? (In fact, better question, why is this guy towing a kid up 1km of vertical?)

Because Rider Howe got a fargin’ big ol’ flat in Fionnay and cranked it up the final 3km on a 100% flat rear tire. (The actual Howe-quote accompanying this image is prohibited by Blogspot content guidelines.) Respect.

Richard checks in shortly after the Howe-machine. His Grimentz rides now put to good use in his first ever racing event. Primo.

After some truly excellent post-race coffees in the warmth of the Inn building, the boys watch the Elite riders start arriving from Martigny from their later 9am start. These boys can crank. Around 38km and 1400m of vertical in 1hr 17 mins by the winner.

They’re all semi-pro or pro and on some pretty sweet rides. Juniors and Femmes in the mix too, with the fastest Junior arriving within about 2 mins of the fastest Elite guy. One of a bunch of juniors from some place called the World Cycling academy. Evidently a Swiss-based training academy for truly speedster grommets from all kinds of countries.

The boys absorb the scene.

Winning elite dude brings it home.

Last but not least, the boys trade in their free meal ticket for a plate of pasta. Or the alternative meal choice of a platter of cheeses and cured meats known locally as an assiette Valaisaine. But what’s this…

Maybe that explains why these locals are so fast!

Activities continue through the day, including a 4km pursuit climb race for the top finishers after lunchtime. The boys enjoy the sun and check out the demo by stunt bike guys hopping around on a parked car and various piled fork lift pallets. Crazy stuff. We could see pretty quick why these stunt bikes had no saddles.

Next comes a little post-race VIP race event, on classic swiss bikes from the 50’s. Due to an organisational oversight, Ranch members were not invited to participate.

11.30 and the sun is shining. The team head home, enjoying a well-earned and stimulating descent to Le Chable and a ride up the telecabine to Verb. (Another shout out to CWA and the Swiss ski lift manufacturing industry. We love you.)

Overall a superb bike race that has been going strong for 40 years. Fantastic community event and slickly-organised race (except for that bus traffic jam thing), with locals all along the route cheering every rider as they pass. Most of the valley's residents are farmers. They know cows. They know sheep. And now they know the Ranch.

View of the east side of the valley, above the finish line. Nice dusting of fresh snow visible at cloud level.

Crespo Update

2010-07-21T19:56:00.005+01:00

So I'm off work this week and today myself, Tracey and Sofia paid visit to Crespo Snr, Jnr (Benjamin) and Lucilla (the rest of the family was at Eurodisney). Crespo was in great form... I was really pleased to see him well, he looks 10 years younger.....

I seem to be spending more time at home these days surfing the web and waiting for Sofia to go to sleep. So I wanted to flag a website which has some great pics on an old Legnano plus some links to a Cinelli website for Cali .... RoryMasini

That's it.. good luck to everyone....

By the way, I've made some changes to the Blog, please feel free to change/comment/go back to the way it was.........

Giro d'Tuscano - Ranch Report

2010-07-13T19:04:00.019+01:00

Ranch photo montage of last week's Giro d'Tuscany, where Ranch West Coast jetted on Alitalia from L.A. to Rome, and RiderTurbo and RiderMama fired off 50-60km's per day through the Italian countryside on a self-guided bike tour, followed nightly by copius amounts of homemade pasta, ricotta gnocchi, pecorino cheese,Tuscan red wine, fruity olive oils, and brightly coloured gelatos.

The ride challenged Ranchers with hot, steamy weather, rolling hills and steep climbs, including passage through the scenic countryside dotted with ancient vineyards and visits in Pienza, Montepulciano, Montalcino and Siena, punctuated by the grand-finale, knock-out wedding extravaganza of RiderTurbo's charismatic business partner at La Polverosa on the coast near Monte Argentario. Cicloposse organized the route, provided maps and bicycles and transported luggage between hotels nightly. The Ranch provided inspiration, perspiration and smiles.

man down - Crespo battles through surgery

2010-06-13T10:42:00.002+01:00

an account by ridercali:

i feel really bad about all of this. we were riding in richmond park. finishing the first lap. probably 200meters from the main gate that we always enter traveling clockwise. i felt my back wheel start to wobble and it was crespo's wheel pushing into mine. i shouted to him and then looked over my shoulder just in the moment to see him hitting the wooden 4x4 road markers that they have all around the park. I didn't actually see why our bikes hit in the first place or how it happened or even how he came off the bike. i just remember seeing the actual impact of the fall. i knew it was going to be really bad because i saw him hit the wooden block but i never imagined it would be this serious. he was struggling to breath. i thought probably a combination of the wind being knocked out of him and maybe even a punctured lung. the guy was in so much pain and maybe even shock. he kept opening and closing his eyes, and rolling back and forth on the ground. we tried to calm him down and get him to take short small breaths so it didn't hurt as much to breath. it was awful to see anyone like that but especially the guy who's door you knocked on an hour earlier to go a ride. about 15 or 20 other riders stopped. all offering help. neither of us had a phone so one rider called the ambulance for us and was describing what happened. another rider on a mountain bike who we had passed about 10seconds before saw the entire event unfold and was helpful in explaining to the medics how exactly crespo landed. his name was Max. he took off his fleece and put it over crespo since it was cold out and neither of us had a jacket. another rider offered to lend me money for a taxi in case we couldn't fit both bikes in the ambulance.. i felt very emotional seeing how kind and concerned people can be for complete strangers in distress. we live in big cities where most of us do not even know our neighbors and we all exist 12hrs + a day in the hard world of finance where often the human sympathy element is nonexistent. people are generally good and make the right decisions. the ambulance took about 7minutes to get to us from the time of impact. crespo wanted to go to chelsea westminster hospital and insisted 2 or 3 times when both of the medics questioned his choice (it is by no means the closest hospital to richmond). i think he wanted to there because that is where Lu is going to have their 3rd child in a few weeks but I am not sure. it took about 15minutes in the ambulance to get to the hospital but for crespo it felt like an hour. he asked me every 2 minutes 'cuanto falta?' how much longer? and i tried to keep giving him an honest answer. i squeezed his right shoulder during the ride in the ambulance so that he knew i was there with him. and about half way into the ride he says. 'hey my shoulder hurts too' i just thought, great, kid crashes his bike and you think you are helping by letting him know you are with him by squeezing his shoulder, and in reality you are actually hurting him more!! it was the other shoulder that bother him. apparently he hit that on impact as well. we arrived at A&E and they wouldn't allow me to enter with the bikes so i took a cab to crespo's house. dropped off his bike with Lu and explained what happened. she gave me his phone and clothes to take back to him as crespo told me to tell her not to bother to come down to the hospital. i think he probably thought what i was thinking... few broken ribs, lot of pain, but no major surgery would be required. man where we wrong. i took the taxi home and dropped off my bike and threw on some shorts and went back to the hospital with carmen. i wasn't going to even go home but i told carmen that i would be home from the ride at 900am latest and now it was already 10am. she was worried and i had no way to call her since i left my phone at home (never will do that again). we went back to the hospital and got there around 1030. crespo was getting a scan when we got there so we couldn't see him right away. about 10mins later Lu showed up with the kids. crespo wanted to see her and had the drs. call her. i took the kids for a pizza to get them out of the hospital for an hour. when we came back we found out that he needed the operation and that he was getting taken in right away to the OR. Max Galland (good friend of crespos) showed up and took the kids for the rest of the afternoon and Lu waited while crespo had the operation.

i am going back over to see him now but unfortunately I am taking off for a week later this afternoon. if any of you guys are in london please go see the guy. he should be in the hospital for at least a week and this was a major operation. he was really out of it yesterday due to all the painkillers but I think he should be more alert today/tomorrow.

Italian for beginners

2010-06-06T11:31:00.004+01:00

This might help the communication with Tito at the next Gimondi......
Click Here

Mama Flies High

2010-06-04T00:45:00.016+01:00

This past Monday, memorial day in the U.S. and bank holiday in Europe, Ridermama and Riderturbo ran the Bolder Boulder 10k road race.

Billed as the largest fully timed road race in the U.S., Mama and Turbo represented the Ranch undercover and joined 54000 of their closest friends for the 6.2 mile run through Turbo's hometown of Boulder, Colorado.

Despite not having run more than 4 miles since the birth of Riderzoe some three years ago, Mama was ripped and ready and clipped a respectable pace that included a 1-2 minute courtesy stop with Riderzoe and Grandma spectating on course. Turbo provided run pacing and interval splits while Mama led the two bobbing and weaving through the crowd of runners.
Overall time was a respectable 51 minutes and change at an oxygen-deprived altitude of 5280 feet where the air was thin, the sun strong and the mountains beautiful.

Mama placed 34th out of 622 women in her age category, citizen's race, and Turbo 130th out of 557 donning compression socks and the misunderstood white bandanna that has become the enigma of Ranch West Coast style despite fitting in the L.A. gang banger scene.

Welcome to Sofia Rose Zinni

2010-05-27T20:46:00.004+01:00

Sorry I couldn't resist... Welcome to the newest member of the Ranch Cycling team....

Allez les bleus!!

2010-05-23T17:34:00.006+01:00

Please allow me to yourself, No-show, a man of wealth and taste- living at high standards in Paris- Arrived at his newly furbished pad, a fantastic old, high ceilings house with windows all over the place, full of energy and light, big and spacious, old wooden floor and all those details you expect to see in those houses where the owners possess the most refine taste for the good life... Grown up.

The weekend was awesome, with a great combination between the glamour of Paris, Blue blazer red pocket square look, Hotel Costes (a scene that The no-show has by now mastered) perfume and champagne ( EUR 20 x drink, yikes!!) with the classic hard working ride.

Sunday we woke up early and hit the road, 2hs at fast pace all the way from the well know 16th hood to Versailles, what a place, thousand of years of history looking at us... Feels great to be in Europe.

Thanks to no-show for hosting me here and vive le ranch!! eazy-e

Dude, who's pulling?

2010-05-14T12:26:00.002+01:00

Guess who was pulling in Bergamo? No "cutting corners" for me at the Gimondi...

Gimondi 2010

2010-05-08T17:04:00.015+01:00

Who is Felice Gimondi? If you are not Italian, Felice Gimondi can be an ice cream or a pizza chef or anyone with a italian name. Felice Gimondi is one of the "Miti del Ciclismo Italiano".. He is part of the talented Italian Cyclist than managed to win Tour de France 1965, Giro D'Italia 1967, 1969, 1976, Vuelta a España 1968, World Road Cycling Champion (1973), Milan-Sanremo (1974), Paris-Roubaix (1966), Giro di Lombardia (1966, 1973), Tour de Romandie (1969), Grand Prix des Nations (1967, 1968).. . So the Granfondo Gimondi is even a more special event for the Ranch. Like every year an inconsistent bunch of Ranchers packs the bikes and flies down to Milan for the first of the GF of the summer. This year like every year a solid group of untrained ranchers was again down there.. Unfit as usual but happy to be there and happy to keep the tradition going.. RiderCali (or RiderShouldIDoThisOrThatOrMaybeIWillWaitTillNextYear, RiderZinni (..)flew from London.. NoShow (or RiderFlashy) flew down from Paris and RiderChiche (RiderPreciso) and RiderZeke (or RiderYouOweMeCash) drove down from Zurich... The drive from the Airport to Bergamo was not as smooth as usual as RiderZinni thought that the race was going to start from Venice instead of Bergamo so the usual 25 mnutes rider from Linate to Bergamo became 45'... Anyway.. My fault for thinking that RiderCali could read a map and my fault for not checking the signs... Anyhow we got to our usual 4 start accommodation.. or the Best Hostel in Europe!! (nothing less for the ranchers).... And we tried to sort out our bikes when Tito appeared.. Who's Tito? Tito is the team mechanic from Pesaro.. Old school guy who looks at these bunch of unfit riders from a foreign country and start thinking... what the hell is going on here.. In less than two minutes he sorted out RiderFlashy bike, then he tells RiderCali to change half of his bike and tell RiderZinni then his set up his wrong and he needs to ajust the handlebar straight away... So after this lesson the ranch decides than it's time to get an haircut and a shave (well RiderZinni decides that) and RiderFlashy sorts out the lunch...

Back to Citta' Alta and RiderPrecise and RiderYouOwemyalotofmoney showed up from Zurich..

and the Ranch goes for a shopping spree... So we are all set for tomorrow's race.. Well that's what we all thought.. Well 4000 people were ready apart from RiderPollo who decided that it was time to get his number, well he decided that it was time to get into the race I mean put his name down... Lucky boy managed to get his number so we all ready... Dinner and bed time as we need to be up early... Zeke manage to start snoring two seconds after he started sleeping and some I managed to get 2 hours sleep all night.. Anyway lesson learnt no more sharing rooms with Pollo not even in PolloLand.. The Ranch is now ready here we go Gimondi 2010 here we go...

We go to the starting line and we start chatting with fellow riders.. great atmosphere.. Amazing place.. Four thousand riders at the starting line all wanting to enjoy another GranFondo... The morning is chilly but who cares we are all there to enjoy... Pollo's belly is very very obvious and is still thinking about the Money from Nice... Dude where is the money? Don't worry I will give you the money tomorrow if I remember.. RiderPrecise starts calculating the amount of energy needed for the race and he starts laughing at Zeke idea that he should drive him back to Zurich... RiderZinni all happy to me in the motherland and happy that people can understand him when he talks.. The race as usual start s at 7:00 riders all over the place.. We ride thru wonderful hills, valleys and wonderful villages..
This race is the essence of the Ranch.. Great race great bunch of people....
Dude where is the money?

Escape from Alcatraz

2010-05-05T21:44:00.075+01:00

Pleasure and pain are often flip sides of the same coin. Ranch West Coast explored the relationship in depth this past weekend donning team colors at the 30th anniversary Escape From Alcatraz triathlon.

Inspired by the 1979 Clint Eastwood movie "Escape from Alcatraz", the event is open to competitors who have qualified in designated events or won lottery entry with a personal race resume. So competition is on the pointy end of the age group spectrum.

Strong westerly currents and 55 degree water temperatures kept tensions high on the one hour boat ride to the swim drop point at Alcatraz Island.

Competitors shared few words en route while the enthusiastic race announcers praised glorious weather and perfect race conditions via loudspeaker, complete with the individual introduction of pros and U.S. national anthem. Pumping iPod tunes prior to the drop, Riderturbo was psyched and feeling confident from recent training with Alcatraz swim master Gary Emich -- and fresh off the Navy SuperSeal III tri earlier in the month.

Greased with body glide, wetsuits, neoprene swim booties with some wearing squid lids and three swim caps thick to preserve warmth, all 1800 competitors crossed the timing mats and took the 5 foot plunge from the boat in the 10 minutes following the 8am start horn.

With 50 safety kayaks and jet skis lining the group up and down current, the swimmers fanned out 1/2 mile wide in open water mayhem. Riderturbo jumped in smooth, navigated spot-on, and knocked off the 1.5 mile swim in 32:13, a personal best and well under the target time of 40 minutes. PLEASURE.

After a minor mishap of lost wetsuit bag in the swim exit mini-transition, Riderturbo ran the 1/2 mile T1 to transition area and mounted the specially prepped RiderCrespo-cloned Red Cervelo Soloist Carbon for the hilly, technical bike course. Running road geometry with forward-flip seat post, lightweight Reynolds DV stratus deep dish wheels, tubulars at 170 psi, drop handle and clip on aerobars, plus the infamous FSA SLK Light 175 Triple crank (yes...TRIPLE) with a 13/29 cassette, the white-lightning skinned Rider turbo held 80 rpm cadence climbs and 40mph descents while pedal-mashers winced on the steep San Francisco hills.

Ticking off the 18 miles in 59:36, Turbo beat the one hour bike split target time ranking 11th out of 79 competitors men's age 40. PLEASURE

A speedy T2 with a kiss on-the-fly to sideline cheering Ridermama and Riderzoe...and then....WHACK, SLAP, TAKE THAT! Riderturbo was blindsided by the bad and the ugly on the run. Stairs, trails, tunnels, 350 feet of vertical ascent in the first three miles of the run. Up, down, left, right. Helicopters overhead and motorcycle chase crews filming the lead racers passing opposite direction. A quick check of the Polar revealed 9 min/mile pace at the 3 mile aid station versus the target 7.5 min/mile pace....and still 5 miles left to run. Was this a triathlon or an XTerra?

JUST F**KIN GIVER, EH...the astute athletic psychology of our world-champion sporting Canadian brethren came to mind...repeated over and over. Down again, round again, across sandy Baker Beach and back for 1 mile, up 400 steps of the Equinox sand ladder, Riderturbo continued the 170 beat-per-minute heart rate death march down the home stretch.

The most brutal, side-stitch cramping and GU-puking experience of RiderTurbo's running career had him drag it through the picturesque 8 mile run in 1 hour and 10 minutes, including off-trail bush potty break, averaging 8min 53 sec/mile, PAIN.

Then near the finish, trying to hold it together, redemption earned: a smiling Ridermama cheering, hand-off and carrying RiderZoe the last two hundred yards through the finish line chute (see top photo) to the adulation of thousands of cheering fans, international flags, colorful pagentry and snapping camera shutters...culminating in the celebratory finisher's medal being placed around RiderZoe's neck. PURE PLEASURE.

Overall, Riderturbo beat the three-hour target time clocking 2:51:57 and placing 18 out of 79 men's age group 40, earning the Ranch a little respect and possibly even a fleeting moment of brand-exposure on network television.

The Ranch asks, Alcatraz gives, PLEASURE AND PAIN, but not necessarily in that order.

Goin' Pro in Romandie

2010-05-03T07:38:00.013+01:00

Successful recovery mission, one week later. Pitts would be proud.

Spirit of the Ranch in action. Lourtier.

One ranch animal detects another.

Etape 5. Tour de Romandie. Sion to Anzere ascent (1000m). Here it comes.

JFG, eh!

3 hours later: Valverde wins it. Anton, then Spilak. Menchov trails.

Second group.

Any spare ones you don't need?

Bike porn.

The just reward: NEW WATER BOTTLE!!!!!

Double Good, Double Fresh, Double Col Fun

2010-04-25T11:46:00.011+01:00

Precision flying requires coordination, commitment, concentration and focus.

...Facts that the Lone Wolf and SharkBite were fully aware of as they rolled out onto the Verbier roads at 8am, Sunday, April 25. Patrouille de Glacier weekend (hence the formation flying display) in Verbier, with the town over-stocked with wire-thin, alpine-touring aerobic-meisters--fresh from their 4000m and 30+km ski tour race from Zermatt to Verbier on Saturday. Time for the Ranch to respond in kind: marathon man Crespo in London, a strong contingent at this weekend’s Gimondi…and now, for the first time ever, SharkBite representing in his stylish, new Ranch long-sleeve jersey (thank you NoShow, size L is sweet) AND rolling with the LoneWolf while doing so.

Meeting at the local convenience store, LoneWolf took the opportunity to supplement his fetching new orange Campy long-sleeve (see photo below) with some carefully chosen newspaper sections (spotted languishing on the outdoor post-box). Ready for the upcoming 8km and 700m of chilliness, the boys roll out. Or were they ready? Outside Migros SharkBite bisects a particularly profound pothole and suddenly hears the unique sounds of a plastic object sliding at 25mph on dry asphalt. The blackberry? No. Instead, a handy-dandy Scott water bottle is recovered...with fresh road rash and extra mineral particles. Mmmm.

Descending carefully down the nearly empty road, our dangerous duo convenes at the base of the climb, strips down layers and plots the itinerary for the morning’s adventure. Wolf sheds the regional sports pages. SharkBite reaches down for some re-hydration…and finds an empty bottle cage where the scuffed Scott bottle was supposed to be. He quickly realizes that the loud slapping sound when he hit a pressure joint on the descent was in fact the sound of something happening. Scott water bottle, R.I.P. Good thing he has another one. And time to change that bottle cage.

Pooling their knowledge of the plentiful roads and climbs of the Val de Bagnes, Wolf and Shark promptly cook up a special double col assault…and return to the road. Heading northwest down the base of the valley, the team soon turns right and strikes out uphill. Through the towns of Vollege and Levron, the Col de Lein was the first strike target.

The boys immediately shift into side-by-side formation on the empty roads, jet fighter stylee. The first order of the day for Ranch-riders then ensues: mutual updating on each rider’s portfolio of chronic and recurring bodily ailments. Wolf rides strong despite cycling-induced tendonitis in the patellar tendon: pain is illusion, the climb is reality. Shark feels the ski-touring induced inflammation on his left heel bone (ultimately attributable to the handiwork of his favourite Albanian criminal driver), but expects it won’t be too problematic in cycling shoes.

Soon the riders are enjoying stunning balcony views of multiple valleys in superb Sunday sunshine, with the Grands Combins to the south and Mont Blanc to the west. Truly awesome…and a welcome anti-dote to the suburban flatlands of South-East England.

The riders know they are operating at the same and higher altitudes then the precision fighter jet-flying of the day before. Hypnotised by the whirring rings and chains, they press on. Missile lock: Col de Lein summit.

Transitioning to a hard dirt road surface, the duo complete the 700m ascent and prepare for the anticipated surface challenges of the north-facing descent on the other side: spring is here, but in the mountains our friends Snow and Ice take their time leaving. Navigating the occasional muddier sections (post snow-melt), Shark and Wolf hoist their bikes and pick their way through several lengthy snow and ice sections.

Commitment!

The descent then resumes, but not without a brief pause for Shark to obtain an appropriately pointed rock and chip away the solid ice block in his Speedplay cletes. Clipping and unclipping becomes un-smooth and tricky with the addition of snow, dirt and forest fragments to the rider’s pedal cletes. But soon the duo is back on tarmac, descend down winding roads towards Martigny…and more stunning views ensue.

They pause for a review of some particularly impressive engineering operations to restore the outer half of the roadway…which was obviously tearing as it slowly slipped down the hillside over time. Shark notices that this is one of several disturbingly steep sections…maybe it’s time to switch out the standard cassette for something a little more climb-friendly.

After a quick break at the bottom (snacks and bodily functions), the two bikes are back in formation and jamming up a particularly steep start section. Elevation 500m…only about 900 more to go.

A solid climb ensues. Shark pulls out a little through the steep construction section, unable to make any uphill movement other than by getting out of the saddle and cranking the pedals in the smallest gear he has, just to keep them turning. Soon the duo reconnect and Wolf presses on. Shark looks enviously at the Wolf rear cassette as it recedes into the distance in front of him. Wolf puts down a steady and masterful ascent.

With 55 minutes elapsed and target two successfully acquired, Shark and Wolf grab snacks at the top of the Col des Planches and descend down the silky smooth road on the other side to the valley floor. A few km’s along the valley to Le Chable and now the boys reveal the smartest part of their plan:

Instead of this...

They take advantage of this...

This is a big shout-out to Doppelmayr, CWA and the entire Swiss ski-lift design and manufacturing industry! Taking skiers to slopes and pilots to home base. We love you, man.

Another awesome day, exploited to the full by Ranchers worldwide…and a couple in Switzerland too.

alert

2010-04-18T12:40:00.008+01:00

Contrary to certain other blog reports - the ranch is quietly confident about their upcoming ride at gimondi. Reflecting on the top 25% placing amongst the local "we ride this stuff everyday" brigade - the ranch has been putting away time in the saddle without fanfare or production as seen below.

We can see from the game faces in this post - rider easy-e with his casual fist pump
ridernoshow's "you looking at me - bergamo punk" stare down
ridechichi's own gabonzo mug shot
rider cali's i've got 6 questions i need to ask but am waiting until after the race glare
and finally - when asked who will pull the ranch the final 5 km into bergamo - only one fellow had the stones to raise his hand

Navy SuperSEAL Triathlon

2010-04-17T01:54:00.030+01:00

The U.S. Navy SEALs were established by President John F. Kennedy in 1962 as a small, elite maritime military force to conduct Unconventional Warfare.

Much like Ranch Riders, The SEALs carry out clandestine, small-unit, high-impact missions that large forces with high-profile teams cannot.

Striking a balance between burgeoning careers, growing families and focused physical training, Ranch Riders typify the commitment, focus and discipline required to perform around the world in a variety of disciplines transcending borders, languages and landscape.

This past Sunday, Ranch West Coast represented the Ranch in the SuperSeal III triathlon. Oringally conceived 32 years ago to prepare Navy SEALs for the Ironman Hawaii World Championship triathlon under the "SuperFrog" marquis, the Olympic Distance SuperSeal consists of a 1.5km open water swim, 40km bike and 10km run near the Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado Island, San Diego, California.

Military presence was evident with Apache helicopter formations flying overhead, Retired Lt (SEAL) Phillip "Moki" Martin providing the ice-dry pre-race briefing, and race participants looking extremely competitive and intimidating.

RiderTurbo lined up against the best in the West and raced full throttle putting in an effort worthy of Ranch respect, finishing 17th out of 78 in men's 35-39 age bracket and 4th out of 22 in men's 39 year old group. Despite aggressive body contact and flooded salt-water goggles at the start, Turbo slicked the swim in 29 minutes, nailed the bike in 1 hour 08 minutes

and pounded out the run in evenly-paced 50 minutes with strong finish for a total time of 2 hours 31 minutes.

RiderMama and RiderZoe provided raucous cheering from the sidelines and Ridermama proclaimed that it was the "fittest and most ripped" group of triathletes she had ever seen at a race.

With Gimondi, Time Megeve, London Marathon, Blenheim and Escape from Alcatraz fast approaching for various team members, things are heating up for a great summer of racing for the Ranch....HOO YAA!

Verbier wknd...

2010-04-12T20:33:00.010+01:00

Fellow ranchers...Gimondi and Eazy-e and Riderchiche do not feel quite ready yet...too many Zurich sausages for Eazy-e and no climbing training for Riderchiche brought the pair to the slopes around Verbier for a weekend of soul searching and plain old training.

Riderchiche lands in Zurich airport and secures a very respectable Focus Estate that fits comfortably the two ranchers and the bike. Eazy-e shows up rather late and off they go on the road...

...surprised during the trip learning that Eazy had forgotten the pump (after three reminders, the last one of which after he had left his house)...at least he provided the pair with everything that his refridgerator had (top-quality cheeses, eggs, hard bread, strawberries, butter, fungus-infested broccoli and other delicacies that would be devoured over the weekend). Arrived in the chalet within 3 hours of departure and off they went to get a plate of pasta before going to bed to rest for the night (clean living = no drinking or partying --more on this later)...

Saturday was nice and sunny, not too cold for this time of the year. The day started with a classic egg and bread breakfast and the ranchers were ready to go (or I should say ready to try and find a pump!). The ride took them down from Verbier, up to Champex Lac, down again and up to La Fouly before heading back to Verbier...after over 3:30 hours the un-trained Ranchers decided to leave the Verbier climb for Sunday and headed back up in the gondola...

Saturday Ride stats:

3:39:19

73.67km

141 avg heart rate (min 66 - max 179)

ascent 1,785m

2939 calories burned

downhill: chilly

uphill: sweaty

Upon reching the top, smell directed them to the rotisserie where a small-sized roasted chicken was waiting for them. Chicken and pasta for dinner and the tired pair went to bed early to rest the muscles...

Sunday morning showed a slightly more cloudy day but still a very nice day. RiderHowe had mentioned the night before that he was in town and definitely up for a ride. At ca. 10am a coughing voice answers Eazy-e's call and asks for a 60-minute delay (later extended another 15) in start time so he could be ready...the reason: a 4:30 bedtime after a night of Vodka-Red Bull...

...now the three Ranchers were ready to go...off again down the Verbier slope and immediately across to head to Fionnay...the Ranchers found a very nice pace and were cruising graciously up the slopes of a scenic detour up until a roadblock threatened to halt their way. Where many others would simply turn around, ranchers stay strong....bikes on the shoulder to make their way...

...unfortunately the roadblock did become "blocking" and the ranchers had to turn around (but not before trying!)...

...so it wasdown the 4 or so km we had already climbed and up again to Fionnay on the regular tunneled climb that would take us even higher than when we started in Verbier...down again to the base and, after a quick good bye to Howe who chose the gondola, Eazy-e and Chiche took on the 8.5km climb to Verbier holding a not-very-fast-but-steady pace all along to clock a just-under-1-hour split; after 51 minutes or so the ranchers saw a familiar face flying down the hill: yes, Lonewolf said "present" to this Ranch weekend and was heading to do the same ride after skiing with the little ones in the morning (nice life, huh?)...

Sunday ride stats

2:57:17
45.61km
147 avg heart rate (min 74 - max 177)
ascent 1590m
2762 calories burned
downhill: chilly
uphill: sweaty

...riderHowe was showered and sporting a very "mountain" shirt by the time Eazy-e and Chiche made it back to the flat and they all shared chicken leftovers with some freshly made pasta...later a bit of chilling in the afternoon before heading back to Zurich in the evening...Chiche woke up at 5 to catch the 7am flight back to London and Monday was just another day in the office, or is it?

Alcatraz Swim

2010-04-12T09:22:00.005+01:00

A short three months ago, RiderTurbo was one of the lucky few to win a coveted lottery entry place into the 30th Anniversary Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon, to be held in San Francisco on May 2nd, 2010. Given historical lore of failed prison breaks from the famed Alcatraz Island and the intimidation factor of the associated swim leg of the triathlon-- billed with freezing cold, shark-infested waters and a strong current -- Turbo along with Ridermama and Riderzoe flew up to San Francisco last weekend for a practice swim crossing with Gary Emich, Alcatraz Swim Master with 684 crossings recorded.

We all have stretch goals, and for the land-loving cyclists of Ranch West Coast, the Alcatraz swim certainly qualifies. The pre-swim briefing had coach Gary giving a primer on the tidal flows in the San Francisco Bay and seabed topography around Alcatraz. The tide in the Bay reverses between “ebb and flood” every six hours and swimming across it is complicated by eddies and “venturi” bottlenecks in certain places around rip-rap and shore edges. Gary also provided guidance on navigational issues. Its hard to know where to “sight” when swimming in open water because eyes are at water level and there are no lane markers or lane lines like in a pool, and particularly so for the Alcatraz Swim. So Gary provided recommendations of landmarks on which to sight off of while swimming. If it is clear visibility, it is pretty simple to sight off the Sutro tower in San Francisco when swimming across from Alcatraz. But if its poor visibility, you must sight off a sequence of landmarks including the Fontana apartments, Four Mason Trees and Piers, Wave Organ, Palace of Fine Arts and red roof of the St Francis Yacht Club, as described in this exciting instructional video.

The challenge is compounded by the fact that when swimming in a southerly direction one is actually moving rapidly in a southwesterly direction due to the current. If you sight incorrectly, the current can sweep you out toward sea via the Golden Gate bridge (see photo) and you could end up, say, a mile west of target exit point. That’s a long way to swim back, particularly if you must fight against the current, which is almost impossible to do when you swim slower than the current is moving! The coach also contracted with a coast-guard approved safety boat to accompany the swim, from which RiderMama and RiderZoe shot photos and video.

All went smoothly and Turbo swam across the Bay in 43 minutes feeling surprisingly strong. After a lovely brunch recuperating with friends in the area, Turbo was glad to have extinguished the psychological demons associated with this infamous swim. All trained and ready to go...next up for Ranch West Coast, the Navy Seal olympic distance triathlon in San Diego and then the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon in May!

Madone

2010-03-31T12:58:00.013+01:00

With Felice Gimondi fast approaching, a couple of the Ranchers decided to take a run down to Nice and test themselves on the Col de Madone. An old Lance favorite. It's been a long winter and the folks who needed the test most, met up last weekend in the quaint Mediterranean village of Villefranche sur Mer. Friday night, Cali and Zeke met Noshow at Nice airport after sloshow was the last to arrive. A stopoff in Nice proper for a Galette and a beer (delicious) and over to the 2 star (40 eur per night) hotel on the harbor. What a treat. Until of couse 30 seconds after laying down to sleep, Easy E lets out a small snore only to be followed up by louder and louder snores. And when not snoring it was the sleep apnea inhales. Net net, noshow heads out into the corridor to find another bed to crash in. Luckily, just down the hall he stumbled across an open door and laid down to slumber. The only noise being 2 lovers letting anyone within a 1 kilometer radius understand their passion.

The ranchers were met with a sunrise over the water that was just beautiful. A nice breaky downstairs on the deck of the hotel and soon after were saddled up for the pedal down the coast to Menton.

As we rolled into Menton about 45 minutes later, noshow's new gps for the bike was a great addition as the real turnoff is tricky to find. Many a rider have missed it but the Ranch was prepared and hit it just right. So the sea level to 940 meters was a twisting, beautiful sunny ride up up up. Easy-E faded after a few kilometers but hung in there all the way. Noshow and Cali chatted most of the way up with no fight for the lead. It was a pleasant ride, challenging enough but we weren't out to blow up, just to train. 2.25 hrs later and we reached the top. Breathtaking views all the way up. Someone clearly stole the sign at the top as indicated by the french mtn biker relaxing after he had come up the other side.

Zeke arrives a few minutes later and the reduced Ranch team descended down the other side and all the way down into La Turbie. It was a beaut. Long roads with curves you rarely had to slow down for. Let the bikes open up. What a pleasure.

Once in La Turbie we turned onto the Grand Corniche to ride back toward Nice. The turnoff for Villefranche was down the Col d'Eze which was well know in Paris-Nice and which we would do the next day.

Across to Villefranche Sur Mer and home. What a wonderful ride. 3.5 hours.

A late lunch in the center of town recommended by Easy E's friend as the best place to eat in France. Let's just say it wasn't quite what it was billed to be although fine in its own way. The beer was good anyway.
So a ride to Northern Italy was in the cards to check out the scenery and a bit of real estate. Could be the biggest mistake of 2010. Net net, I believe it would be safe to say that none of us will be venturing there again. Probably ever. No other comment.

So 4 hours later we finally get back to home base. A quick nap then Cali decides to treat the small ranch contingent to dinner. (Odd you say? yes, dear reader, it appears the boy is attempting a non "selfish/only child syndrome" poke at the world.) Question is still out whether or not the new leaf has been turned.
Dinner was had at a quaint little restaurant on the hill in the small village. It was a nice meal, a glass of wine and good company. A nice stroll along the sea back to bed (Noshow sorted out a separate room to sleep in) and the boys were slumbering along dreaming of sun on their backs and breezes in their faces.
Sunday after a moment of confusion over the time change, the boys were fed and suited up and excited to do half the ride in reverse. Col d'Eze included. So a grind out of town, up to Eze village and that left hand turn up the vicious col d'Eze. CAli up and gone, noshow dropped by 50 meters. Easy E out geared and overweight in the midsection just had no choice but to grind gears all the way. 15% grade close to the top. That was a lover.
After that , turn right and up to La Turbie. Turn left and Noshow and Cali decide to kick into top speed and go for it up to the base of the back side of Madone. Was a great ride. Easy E makes it up a few minutes after and the descent back home. 2 hour Sunday ride, crisp, beautiful. Can't even make it up.

Lunch in town again and the boys pack it up to get Cali back to the airport on time.

That's all she wrote.

Look forward to Verbier in a couple weeks for another trainer.

the alternative ranch trip

2010-03-30T23:59:00.004+01:00

While certain ranchers were riding the col de madonne in the south of france - others opted for a weekend in Niiseko on the island of Hokkaido. Pictured are rideremilian and riderpitts hanging out after a day of ripping groomers.

The traditional japanese Onsen proved a perfect regeneration tonic - a few hundred metres down the road from the chalet.

RiderZoe Winter Ski Training, Unleashed!

2010-02-21T18:51:00.006Z

RiderZoe, code name Z-star, winter ski training video with RiderTurbo and RiderMama.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKyZbuxiuHw

what did u do on your holiday?

2010-01-02T01:17:00.003Z

all day everyday tom pitts forgetting the air in hong kong for three weeks in revelstoke - heart of british columbia.

Verbier

2009-12-30T19:36:00.002Z

flyby - verbier early season

2009-12-07T14:28:00.002Z

One day in the schweiz finds a few of the ranchers gathering for early season turns. New comer, the bite - ridersharkbite - blog reader sebbi galli, riderhowe, ridereasy-e, and riderpitts enjoyed late afternoon sun with beers, sammies, and a view that makes u go aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Transalp 2010

2009-11-30T08:18:00.002Z

The price of gold is going up, so the ranch bankers must be happy.

Tomorrow is the registration for the Transalp.

Anyone?

Please lemme from motorhead know asap.

Bon Vivant,
Bon Voyage,
Bon Mot,
Bon Jour,
Tout Le Monde,
Je Pleusir Maladi Contagious,

Pierre

Richmond park ride

2009-11-21T17:40:00.005Z

8 am at Crespos place, its one of those crisp, damp London mornings. The ranch gather together, riderchiche, young boy calner, wide load crespo and eazy-e are getting ready to head towards one of those iconics classics rides, the likes that cemented our friendship, teamspirit and bonding throughout many years> It feels great!! happy guys, big smile in our faces, shooting the shiit, the bad weather is just anectodical, no one really cares... we are just happy and looking fwd to spin the legs...

Richmond in the morning, the color of the fall, the deer, lots of riders going up and down like yo-yo in their bikes, its so cool...

We took it easy, "under 150 heart rate, young calner comanded" its joy of life, and to add to the mystic moment we bumped into rider-speedoreido!! great, we are exited, riding with lone wolf is everys rider Kilimanjaro... the guy is steel, he flies in his de rosa king... and we struggle to follow him.. after one lap at high speed we let lone wolf go ahead and we go back to our winter "under 150 ride" ...

And the Saturday just only started, we have done our workout and endorfines levels are back to top level.. we are feeling good, we are feeling HIGH!

So here is the proof fellas, at the end of the day its not so much about the place, the weather or any external factors, such as money, jobs, status.. its all about the friends and familly, the people we have around, thats is what makes the trick in the pursue of happines and on this one, the ranch has always proven me right.

The heart is singing-

Peace!

eazy-e

Verbier

2009-10-18T19:01:00.015+01:00

NoShow...me....decided a Verbier trip might be in order just to turn the pedals a bit. I'd never been there although had heard a lot about it through Pitts, Reid, Howe. So I hooked up with Ben O'Halloran who has a one bedroom apartment there in a chalet on the slopes of Verbier. Ben by the way is a shoe in for a new Ranch member. He has all the qualities of the Ranch. Steady guy. Awesome cyclist.

The idea was to pop out to the swiss alps for a couple days and get some kilometers in. Little did we expect temps below zero and snow.

Friday night, we leave form Paris, fly to Geneva and arrive on the french side since Noshow couldn't locate his passport before leaving. Ben has the car rental taken care of in about a minute and as soon as Noshow's bike arrives we hit the road with Swiss efficiency. Up to Verbier in about 1hr 45. We have a beer, shoot the breeze and crash. Had been a long week.

Sat, 7am. Wake up groggy, look out window...

Hmmm, looks overcast and chilly. Maybe we'll mtn bike instead. One quick tour around town and with no rental stores open we decide to road bike it. Luckily the weather clears and we go for a 3 hour tour across the valley up a beautiful difficult climb to a glimmering alpine lake,

back across the valley and back up the Verbier climb. As the snow flurries began about 1 km into the climb Ben was having none of it and efficiently dropped Noshow and pedaled away like one of the Schleck brothers up the climb, Noshow grinded along cursing himself for not bringing his bike with a triple, weighing 90 kilos and for being out of shape and miserable. It was a long tough slog in a windy snow flurried atmosphere. Awesome. By the time he made it to the top Ben was waiting for him shivering as he had been waiting a good 20 minutes at least.

A spin back to his apartment and we shower up. Both being pretty psyched with accomplishment we decide to take a drive to the Monastery of the Saint Bernard Pass for a look. Snowstorm, 7 below zero. Looked great. Didn't stay long. A quick drive back home and head to Chez Rider Howe for dinner.

What a treat. He and Natalie had stopped and picked up a Raclette for all of us so we all shared a meal of melted cheese, dried meats, a great salad and good red wine all shared with great conversation. Just a wonderful couple hours.

Back to Ben's, pass out and awake to a beautiful, crisp sunny alpine morning. Little did I realize how crisp it really was.

We had found a mountian bike rental place the day before so had sorted a rental for Noshow.

By 9:30ish we are on the road with a lovely loop planned out for the morning. We had no idea what lay in store.

A lazy coast down the mountain onto an access road and we begin to climb. And climb. And climb.

After about 30 minutes we go into a cloud and the road becomes covered with snow. And the temperature drops to zero or below. Hmm, this is getting miserable. Ok, well we just have to keep going up. So we go and go and go until we have to walk the bikes because the snow is too slippery with the gradient of the slope. Noshow begins to have funny vision due to the high altitude so need to slow a little. Ben says he feels like he needs to eat a banana. Ok. Let's take a photo.

It's cold. Wet skin from the climb. Well below zero. Hmm, where do we need to get to?

Traverse the mountain.. Let's go. So we go. And after about 30 more minutes stop when we move back into the sun again. I see Ben take out his blackberry and start typing away. I have no idea how because I had no feeling in my hands. Ben, What are you doing? Response: I just sent Howe a text message that said the following: "Order 2 hot chocolates right now. I'm serious." We can see the restaurant down the valley where they are waiting for us. Just a few more km to go. So we descend into a brisk wind and end up at a lovely restaurant where met Rider Howe and family and two hot chocolates. It was a lovely sight. A fantastic lunch on the mountainside with the Howe family (Pliget and Lizzie included) and we coast back into Verbier with feelings of success and accomplishment. It was 3 hours of difficult riding conditions but we grinned, beared it, and are the better for it. I'd do it again, although maybe not tomorrow.

Altogether an awe inspiring weekend. And Benedict O'Halloran was to thank. Thank you Ben.

Mama is BACK

2009-10-01T22:50:00.031+01:00

Slow is smooth, smooth is fast and fast is a gift.

This seeming contradiction in terms defines many of the sporting greats: mastery and method produce efficient motion, superfluous movement is eliminated, time seems to stop, moving fast never looked so slow, and then in a flash of a brilliance, the clock stops, proving that smoothest is fastest.

Harken three years past, when Ridermama in the ascendancy of podium positions in European age-group triathlon chose another path --- forsaking competitive determination for the joy of parenthood. Pregnant and in process, Riderzoe was born giving rise to a new member of the Ranch. Since then, little has been heard from RiderMama.

But mistake not silence for complacency. Quietly and methodically behind the scenes -- like a shadow in the night -- Ridermama worked away diligently. Day by day, serving a higher purpose, Ridermama leveraged her way into a prestigous medical fellowship, laid the foundation of Riderzoe's childhood success and re-integrated a modicum of competitive training into the mix.

Like a mason stacking granite to reaveal a monument, the unveiling occured Sunday before last, when Ridermama appeared on the coast of California placing 16th out of 164 women in her age bracket in the Nautica Malibu triathlon.

Racing with Riderturbo and Riderzoe spectating, the team completed the 1/2 mile Pacific ocean swim, 18 mile bike and 4 mile run (800m/30km/6.5km) in 1 hour 50 minutes 3 seconds for Mama and 1 hour 40 minutes 14 seconds for Turbo (23rd out of 219) in a showing to make the Ranch proud.

Looking smooth while others gritted teeth, Mama glided through the water, rolled through the bike, and strided through the run with the grace and elegance befitting a champion -- reminding us all that smoothest is fastest.

Photos were snapped, smiles were shared and the west-coast Ranchers were oh-so-proud to proclaim that MAMA is BACK.

Versailles

2009-09-20T11:14:00.004+01:00

Trying to iron out a few loops for when the Ranch brethren arrive in a couple weeks.

Here's the most difficult hill so far:

the chiche wedding

2009-09-02T04:23:00.009+01:00

Normally a wedding follows a stag and that is exactly what happened as a few members of the ranch travelled to melbourne to give witness and state their approval. While most male cycling enthusiasts that follow this blog will turn off at this point - i know faithful reader tea and wedding aficiando ridermamma will want some sort of overview.

The week kicked off with RiderCrespo and RiderEasy-e flying from europe to OZ via hong kong which allowed a few days chez riderpitts. Ridercrespo made the most of his time rising early for runs around the peak, visiting local temples, exploring the various markets, and eating well. Ridereasy-e, true to his Latino roots, chose to live the life of a 17 year old sloth, and aside from a visit to mongkok and the venerable tailor Raja - preferred hong kong at night. This included a nightly skinny dip in the pitts pool and the eternal easy-e life questions posed while floating around bare assed to the stars.

Melbourne appears to be a very liveable city with cafes, coffee shops, and bars all hopping, oblivious to any sort of world downturn. The weekend paper felt heavier than the sunday new york times and on inspection was the result of a 90 page pull out with nothing but real estate classifieds. Draw your own conclusions there.

The friday night reception was held in the old gentleman's club of melbourne - the melbourne club. In a room fit only for a blazer and kaki's we listened to a history of the club while eating miniature steak pie's and slurping beer. Sarahs father gave everyone a lesson on how to address a room on the eve of his eldest daughters wedding - he is one smooth fellow.

The wedding was held at newnham college at the university of melbourne - the sacrament was not administered - however, the bride looked wonderful and chiche a handsome fellow - but the show was in part stolen by ridercrespo's 4 year old daughter valentina who acted as ring bearer and flower girl.

Following the church - a tour bus ran us around Melbourne and a brief history of the town was given. We drove the formula circuit and pasat the site of the Australian open.

The dinner was at the art gallery of melbourne - which was hosting a Dali exhibition. The room was magnificent with 60 foot ceilings and a stained glass roof. Here the stage was set for the inspirational and heartfelt wedding speeches that touched all. Ridercrespo was as elegant in his black tie as was his overview of the chiche - and of course chiche's speech was appropriate and wonderfully timed as one glimpse of the head table showed the male argentine contingent babbling like a bunch of jewish grandmothers watching Yentl.

This wedding - it can be safely summarised - was a perfect expression about all that is good in people, with the lingering sensation left in everybody that truly the chiche/sarah house is one built of stone.

A stag - ranch style

2009-08-17T16:04:00.009+01:00

Once upon a time an otherwise innocuous post was scribed on this blog which contained a picture of a fellow - riderchiche - that resulted, all kidding aside - in a few of the ladies that follow the ranch and stalk its pages- calling the said writer and asking after the status of the young argentine gentleman. While little was made of these inquiries given the active filtering/standards/of the filteror - it will come with certain disappointment to part of our fan base - that riderchiche for lack of other sensible discriptors has decided to make a solo break of sorts and marry a lovely lady named Sarah. Now its not the purpose of the blog to debate the merit of leaving the peleton so early in the race - nope like any sensible band of brothers - the only cry that rung through the ranch train was STAG STAG STAG.

Now despite the varied nationalities of the ranch - STAGs do have universal appeal. They mean dancing girls, nut ticklers, beer bongs, two foot cigars, and large steaks. Stags by anybodies reference is a call to arms for all red blooded males to abandon morality, dispose of ring finger hardware, and stumble back into post exam college stupors as those golden drops of beer nectar wash away any guilt of the ritual. God - has given man one more chance at a hallway pass - a kind of adult get out of jail free card.

And so it goes for our rider - rider chiche. A stag for a giant lady producer from latin america whom once sported shoulder length hair and Pantera concert T's - while the possibilities were as endless as the investment opportunities for the 250mln of fresh usd in his new fund - there was one catch. Oh the shame of missing the catch.

We were talking about the ranch.

So the build up came to pass in the same way as a 14 year old boy discovering that just because you buy her a movie ticket doesnt mean you she will take her top off in the second row.

We met - some of us from far far away in Zurich - the riderhowe, the ridereasy-e, the riderzinni, the ridercali, the riderpitts, and the birthday boy - riderchiche. And we rode bikes. We went to bed early, we got up early, we climbed 17km alpine passes, we sprinted long flats, we descended at 78kmh and we hurt.

We talked about gear, markets, love, and real estate. We debated logistics and future races. We talked about riderNoShows manscaping and wine picking, we argued about the size of ridercrespo's back door, we toasted riderstemcell's carbo fear with buns from the zueghauskeller, we poked fun at the riderturbo's fondness for 4 quid buffets and we argued about riderlonewolf's holiday allotment. It was all normal - and we won. Convention and adolescent ritual to the side - the ranch again takes its own path and does things in its own way. Normal.

Performance

2009-08-14T18:40:00.003+01:00

Youtube video lampoon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn29DvMITu4

Transalp 2010 Dates

2009-08-14T12:33:00.002+01:00

Okay ladies, the dates for the Transalp are 27th of June through the 3rd of July.
You have until November 30, 2010 to decide. The start numbers are drawn by lottery on the 1st of December at noon. For those of you who do not rule the roost, it is time to put on some pants and bring some order. Are you a man, or a little boy? For those Ranchers sporting female mammalian protuberances, take no offense, you can also ride the Transalp.

Love,
StemCell

Power Lunch with Pitts

2009-08-05T13:16:00.002+01:00

Power lunched with Rider Pitts toady in Frankfurt. Pitts perfects hand-rubbed ribs, tomatoes, water and cottage cheese for T´s waistline! Planned out potential future: Spokes, Strings and Edges. Met the cute Pitt kids driving Grandma crazy.

Ranch cycler´s need to start thinking seriously about next years Tour Trans-alp (road bike. We need a contingent at this race and I will personally set up the training agenda!

Giddyup!

Rider StemCell Finishes his 3rd Transalp

2009-07-31T10:58:00.002+01:00

Rider StemCell finished his 3rd, and last?, mountain bike transalp race last Saturday. The fist stage was cancelled due to 30cm of Snow on the first pass out of Mittenwald. On the second stage, the third pass was cancelled due to 40 cm of Snow. Once out of Germany, the weather was perfect...as usual. As with the first 2 transalp races, RiderStemCell arrives home with a nasty case of swollen legs and an additional 5 kg of weight. Funnily enough, after 3 days, He is back to normal weight. Why? I´ll tell you why: too many carbs and not enough fat! The food at this event is always horrible! This year I raced in the "Herren" category which had me racing with young boys under 30. I´m a mad and must race with men older than 40! I destroyed a Ranch Jersey with grease as a major Chain suck had me elbow deep in chain grease. Sorry Tom, I owe you a Jersey.

Anyway, I have decided to concentrate my future racing ambitions only on the road bike.
As such, I want to ride the Tour Transalp. I believe the Ranch needs a presence at this event.

Who´s in? or are you all little girly boys?

Love, Stem

Ranch Recruits: BrokenTooth & SwissChef

2009-07-26T18:25:00.045+01:00

All quality organizations require new talent to stay on the cutting edge. New blood fosters dynamism, infuses energy and ideas, and shapes the future as time passes and the guard changes.

The Ranch has been riding high for the better part of a decade. The solid core of RanchRiders know each other well and are a tight knit bunch. Over time, a few riders have joined and none have left.

To wit, Ranch riders have spread out over the globe. With contingents located in London, Zurich, New York, Hong Kong, Frankfurt and Los Angeles, the horseshoe and star can be seen from Central Park to the Val de Bagnes, from Malibu to the Upper Levels, from the Black Forest to the hills of Lombardy, with honorary members in Boulder and elsewhere. And the legend continues.

Never satisfied with the status quo, and always on the lookout for new talent, the Ranch has from time to time invited a select few to join as both Riders and honorary members.

Introducing Rider BrokenTooth and SwissChef. Long time friends of RiderTurbo, RiderMama and RiderZoe, Rider Brokentooth (above left) and Swisschef (above right) and are experienced cyclists in their own right. Rider Brokentooth hails from Ohio -- America's heartland where hard work and simple values go hand in hand. Her mountain resume was born from a decade of ski racing in the US Ski Association Central division, and in the north-east at Cornell University. With riding experience on the climbs of Switzerland, around her mountain top vacation home in Snowmass, Colorado and on a handful of centuries that included road-worthy mishaps, Rider Brokentooth is no stranger to the peloton .

Her spouse, Rider SwissChef adds to the cosmopolitan cache of the Ranch with an impressive riding resume. Originally from Zurich -- with an Italian madre still residing there --Swisschef possesses souplesse cadence, grace and power, fluency in four languages and refined skills in both the international professional workplace and kitchen of Continental cuisine.

Both Riders are new to the ranch, but certaintly not new to the rigors of the outdoor lifestyle, endurance sports, triathlon and cycling. Both work for Nestle, producer of Powerbars, Chocolate and delicious, nutritious dairy products. Both riders recently moved to Los Angeles from living in Vevey, Switzerland where they competed in many events in Europe with Ridermama and Riderturbo in recent years.

Reunited in California, Rider BrokenTooth, SwissChef, Mama and Turbo have been on a number of rides over the past few months, and set off in recent weekends on mountian bike rides in the Malibu and San Bernardino mountains.

One interesting ride called the Bulldog Motorway involved 2500 vertical feet of steep, rocky climbing over three hours traversing the Castro Motorway atop mountain ridges overlooking the Pacific Ocean. In a word, the ride was spectacular. The riders conquered the climb with vigor despite oppressive July heat typical of Eastern facing alpine aspects in the high desert California summer.

An interesting feature of the ride was that it directly passes the original filming site for the syndicated television program "MASH."
Old rusted Jeeps and equipment can still be seen trailside and the Riders stopped for a moment to snap a photo for the blog...

Please welcome Rider BrokenTooth and SwissChef to the group. Next time visitors come to L.A. or Aspen, or when the riders next visit Switzerland, we can join up for a ride!

As an aside, Riderzoe seems to be moving right along with her second birthday and a new set of wheels...

Racing NYC

2009-07-23T03:21:00.003+01:00

That is racing circa 2001. I think i have a skinsuit on.

Lance, Alberto and V.A.M

2009-07-22T18:12:00.014+01:00

Ranch riders are always looking for an edge on the bike. A seemingly trivial video interview snippet with Lance reveals deep insight into who wins climbs and Grand Tours.

Save an out-of-this world single time trial by Lance, or otherwise catastrophic mishap by Astana, it explains why Contador is most likely to win on Mt Ventoux leading to a win in this year's TdF. It may also explain why Alberto may win more Grand Tours in the years to come to take his place alongside The Boss, the Badger, Big Mig, The Cannibal and others in the Tour's Greatest of All Time.

Secrets revealed by the V.A.M.

Lance Stage 16 Pre-Race Interview - "Back in the Day"

On the Cycling News Website in an interview with Dr. Michele Ferrari, the V.A.M. to which Lance refers in this interview is the "velocita ascensionale media" average climbing speed (vertical rate). By his own admission, Lance's best ever V.A.M was 1790 meters/hours on L'Alpe d'Huez. Presumably, this was during the uphill time trial on Alpe d'Huez in 2004 on a feather light Trek riding fresh and not in an exhausted state at the end of a long road stage as is typically the case when the TdF climbs the L'Alpe d'Huez.

By contrast, Lance states in the video that Contador's V.A.M on Verbier was 1852m/hour -- bettering that of Armstrong's rate in his best years when even then he says "he wasn't following that." This may allude to Lance's belief that even when he was at his best he might not have been able to stay with Alberto on a grand tour climb.

Examples of VAM (Vm/h) Metres Per Hour (Vm/h) from Cycling News Interview:
1800+ Vm/h: Lance Armstrong - and Pantani of olden days
1650-1800 Vm/h: Top 10 / TdF GC or mountain stage winner
1450-1650 Vm/H: Top 20 / TdF GC; top 20 on tough mountain stage
1300-1450 Vm/h: Finishing TdF mountain stages in peloton
1100-1300 Vm/h: The Autobus Crew

Interesting Articles from the 53x12 Website:

VAM: Effects of Gradient & Altitude
More about VAM

Certainly, the Verbier climb in this year's tour was not as long as many of the Tour's Hors Categorie climbs. From our personal experience, the Verbier climb is one we all know well and perhaps any rider, pros included, can sustain higher V.A.M for shorter durations of time.

Neverthless, the quick comment shows just how dominant Contador really is at climbing in Grand Tours right now -- the superior power/weight ratio is evident in his V.A.M. -- and also gives clues to how we might improve our climbing by training just a bit more with the use of a barometric altimeter that is now standard equpment on many of the modern sport watches produced by companies like Polar and Suunto.

the arrival of riderturbo

2009-06-21T12:41:00.006+01:00

randol curtis, aka the turbo from his NCAA div 1 skiing days, arrived for a few days of pleasure, business, and fine dining in Hong Kong. Logistics prevented any cycling however, saturday morning was not just about julietta's fresh papaya and mango - no sir - in the spirit of ranch tradition - riderpitts and riderturbo - knocked off a 50 minute run around the peak followed by a plunge in the pool. Sunday morning saw the turbo depart around mid-day - but that day was not to escape its own early a.m. session as the two knocked of an hour run which included a summit on MT Austin. The highlight of the assult being the two ranchers overtaking a pair of kitted out mountain bikers - on one stretch of 14% grade - and for the avoidance of doubt - ranchers drop mounain bikers on foot. In summary, the turbo looked extremely lean, extremely fast, and exceptionally prosperous.

2010 Tour Transalp

2009-06-19T11:01:00.002+01:00

Hello Fellow Ranchers,

Next Year I want to ride the Tour Transalp.

Who´s In?

Hold your breath for my Dreilander Report-It should be cold ontop of that little hill!!!!

RiderHowe Hitches onto the Cadel Pelaton

2009-06-18T13:41:00.004+01:00

On Tuesday of this week, I had the pleasure of joining Cadel Evans (2 time Tour de France runner up) and Hendrik Redant (Sporting Director for the Silence Lotto Cycling Team). The background links to an Australian friend of mine, Peter Beatty (a Ranch Target) who now resides in Verbier. Pete, who hosted the dinner, grew up competing with Cadel and they have maintained a solid friendship since. Cadel and Hendrik were visiting Verbier to scope the 9 kilometer climb (one that we Ranchers are all familiar with) as preparatory work for Cadel’s assault on this years TDF.

Fresh off of a 2nd place result at the Dauphine Libere, Cadel (followed by Hendrik in the Team Car) was “casually riding” 3 stages of this years TDF that were new to him (including the Verbier stage). Known as one of the lower profile top riders on the circuit, not everyone is familiar with Cadel. His achievements speak volumes;
- 2 x Tour De France Runner Up
- 2 x Dauphine Libere Runner Up
- 2 x Tour of Spain 4th place overall
- Along with multiple single event and individual stage victories

Hendrik was no slouch himself, groomed from solid Belgian riding stock, he competed professionally for 10 years, riding 5 TDF’s and multiple top finishes in the single event and short tour circuit.

Over a bottle of red and a hearty spagbol, it was a fascinating evening of sharing tour and rider insights coupled with the regular banter you would expect to hear from a couple of Aussies. There’s did not appear to be a “rockstar” lifestyle, but rather a very serious and committed approach to their sport with a cost conscious approach to overall team Management. A couple of interesting anecdotes throughout the evening included;

- typical TDF riders will put on at least 40,000 kilometers of training per annum

- we always think of the challenge of the climbs in the TDF, what we rarely consider is the 8 to 20 kilometer descents that are done with speeds consistently topping 100 km’s/hour. Try that in light drizzle with a 100 rider pelaton!

- incredible preparation in terms of researching the nooks and crannies of each of the stage’s roadways including detailed analysis of the finishing areas

- a certain level of frustration with Nationality Partnering overtaking Team Partnering (you will know what I mean if you watched the last 2 stages of the Dauphine)

- and finally, a call from Doping Control, advising they would be in Verbier at 7am to give Cadel the once over as part of a routine spot check. Turns out the guy drove half the night from Stuttgart to meet his time commitment.

All in all, a great evening with a couple of humble guys who are so entrenched in their sport, that they don’t really seem to see the magnitude of their achievements.

It looks probable that Cadel will ride the Giro di Lombardia, and for those of you coming to Como, I am hoping I can line up Cadel/Henrik for a post race intro to Team Ranch. In the meantime, and despite confronting a slight latino bias within our team, please join me in supporting a real “class act” for the sport. Hope to see you in Verbier on the 19th of July “pour Etape 15”.

RiderStemCells New Machine

2009-06-16T09:40:00.003+01:00

I had a custom sized frame built for me from the German Expert frame builder NICOLAI. 100% Easton Aluminum with a bottom bracket stiffer than a diamond. No carbon frame can match the stiffness of my Argon Road. It is fast...I am clocking speeds of over 75km/S down the hills of Feldberg here in Frankfurt. Negative Gravity Brakes, Easton SL90 Fork, and waiting for my Rotor Q rings(53/39) and Crank set to arrive.

Time Megeve

2009-06-15T19:10:00.006+01:00

Team Ranch. The ranch decided to try a race in Noshow land. Time Megeve. The Alps. The month of June. Easy access through Geneva, a hotel not too expensive. This race had all the potential to be a classic on the Ranch calendar.
Saturday morning the team arrives in Megeve, sort the cars out and we load up for the 1 hour drive to the highclass ski resport of Megeve, France. We had no idea what to expect.

We arrive. 28 degrees C. Alps everyhwere. A magnificent view of Mt Blanc not far away. Wow. This is incredible. Zinni says its' the highest mtn in europe. Cali disagrees. The repsone from Zinni? "Ok, fine Mt Kiliminjaro is higher but ... " huh? Not surprisingly, the word terrone may have been used after that comment.

At the first roundabout in town we see the stadium and go to register. Plenty of bike porn for those interested. We had a cursory glance but were more business than pleasure and headed for the hotel to get settled and then find some lunch.

2 rooms, 2 guys to a room was a much improved scenario after the nightmare of 5 guys and a room at Gimondi. Net net - the place was comfortable and inexpensive even if the owner wasn't the most mannered with us.

So checked in, bike assembled and we head into town to have a sandwich and a beer. On the walk back after lunch Farace looks at Noshow and says, "hey Noshow, i think i am going to take a nap." Noshow responds by saying, "Listen, in all my years, and I am only talking about my experiences, a nap this late in the day won't be good for sleeping tonight." So we meander back to the hotel. Lay down for a couple minutes and Noshow is asleep and under the covers before Farace can finish speaking about how in love he really is with Sarita. An hour later, upon awakening, noshow hears, "And that, Noshow, is why I love her so."

So off to dinner at the slowest restaurant in Megeve, a couple glasses of red and the team heads back for a sleepy night in cool and breezy Megeve. Dreams of Sarita in all of our heads now.

Sunday. A 6:30 start - Cali and Zinni upset at breakfast because Noshow and Chiche don't go upstairs to walk down as a team. We have the "cyclists breakfast" of cold toast and fake powdered orange drink, pack our things and ride to the start. It looks to be a beautiful day. Hot air balloons drifting through the valleys of the alps, a view of Mt Blanc not far away. And the sun coming up over the mtns. What a great way to begin a race.

8:30 the bell tolls and we roll through town. 4 members ot the Ranch in their first french alps race. We have 115km of alps ahead of us. Focus.

We roll for about 20 minutes to the first hill. Not too bad. Maybe 45 minutes of climbing but couldn't have been more than 6% at its worst. Over the top of that and we have a great decent touching speeds of 75-78kph. Was beautiful. Noshow gets a flat and the team waits for him. Brilliant. Climb #2. More difficult. Ths climb takes well over an hour and the team is spreading out a bit trying to climb at their own tempos. Cali, spinning away, relaxed, eating up kilometers. Farace grinding along like Jan Ullrich in a heavy gear. Zinni churning his chainring eating tarmac under his wheels and Noshow shifting to his triple as he begins to feel his 39 years.

Over the top - Zinni flats, Noshow climbs back up to help him with the change and off they go again. The temamates, Cali and farace waiting around the corner. We're at 4 hours now and see the turn off for the 85km loop. Not even a hesitation for the team, we go for 115. Noshow flats again on the decent and almost loses it. Realizes his tube stem isn't long enough and we wait again for a gentleman spanish rider to make a trade for a tube that fits (Cali negotiates) and up climb 3. We were warned that the first 3km were difficult. What we weren't warned about was the climb was more like 20km and the whole climb was STEEP. Cals and Noshow start to bicker about 1/3 of the way through (MEIGHT) and Cali takes off. Noshow not feeling it but angry chases him and tries to drop him. About 10 minutes into the "try to drop CALIi move" he looks back over the curve in the road to see where he is and hears a chipper, "Hey Buddy! Right here!" About an inch off noshow's wheel. Darn it. Thought he had the flu.

Up over the top, a decent into the valley again and the team heads for home. At this point, the team is looking ragged. Zinni is covered in salt from dried sweat. Noshow can't think straight, Cali, looking feverish and Chiche looking calm somehow. 33 degrees C - it's hot. The road drifts up slightly and at this point it saps you but the finish is so close. We will make it. We will make it as a team. Zinni had slowed on the decent to ponder where in fact Mt Kiliminjaro actually was so the other 3 teammates wait before the finish so we could all cross together. This race was ridden as a team and we wanted to finish as a team.

We all arrived in Megeve unprepared for this race. 2 guys not trained well, 1 with the flu and one with a cold. The Ranch wasn't willing to not ride it so we bucked up, held together as a team the entire 6 hours of riding and are the better for it. I, for one, am proud of the effort and the support of fellow ranchers. Once again I am impressed at the character of the riders I am associated with. Pure quality.

Dreiländer Giro

2009-06-15T10:33:00.002+01:00

YO, RiderStemCell will be starting the Dreiländer this Sunday......with his new Machine....and better leg......and bigger Lungs....and a stronger heart!

I´ll be thinking of you all as I power over Stilfsjoch....

Wish you were here.

Loe Stem

That Which Does Not Kill Me....

2009-06-04T04:19:00.005+01:00

For Ranch riders and cycling afficionados who harbor idle curiousity about the fringes of human potential and the darkside of the craft, I offer an entertaining article about the current king and upcoming favorite of 2009 solo RAAM starting in two weeks -- the Race Across America

(2006 RAAM Promo Video) (2008 RAAM Promo Video)

That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Stranger, NY Times, 5 Feb 2006

RiderZoe's Race Debut

2009-05-28T09:47:00.007+01:00

RiderZoe makes the Ranch race Tour debut at the Acura L.A. Bike Tour! Up at 3am for the 5am start in the dark this past memorial day, the beloved RiderZ won the hearts of adoring fans among a throng of thousands riding the 40km road course covering the route just hours before the running of the L.A. Marathon! Despite dozing off for nearly 1/2 the ride in early morning twilight, RiderZoe shows off the new Chariot side carrier -- accompanied by Ridermama and Riderturbo -- and makes her public Ranch riding debut in flying colours!

GIMONDI

2009-05-21T10:11:00.007+01:00

What a weekend. The Ranch is alive. 4 from London, one from Paris. Milan Linate airport.

Noshow the first one in, waiting and having a coffee machiatto. And why not? The guy's in Italy. Was delicious.

After a 30 minute wait, 3 more come waltzing out of Terminal A (there is no B), gulp a few Italian sandwiches and off to find the van to transport the team to Bergamo. It was 9:30am. Well done Ranch.

RiderChiche shows up like it's gameday. He is skinny, shaved, has a plastic cover over the rental van details and breaks into argentine accented italian as he speaks with the rental woman. UPennWharton indeed. This guy was prepared. Noshow observing began to get butterflys wondering what other kind of preparation he had done. Rollatoke never got him that far.

The van was perfect - Chiche as driver (normal) and 30 minutes later we were pulling into Bergamo looking for the Hostel. Yes - you read correctly - Hostel. (Claim to fame is best Hostel in Europe.) To be fair - we will go back - they were superb. And not least of which the bus went directly from the hostel to Citta Alta. Which was discovered much too late by TeamRanch but soon enough to enjoy one ride back from the resto saturday night.

We began the saturday by a spin over to the stadium to check in. The same issue with having no insurance - Cali gives his telephone number as insurance card and adds a number. Zinni changes the last number of that to 1 additional. Ok, then Noshow gets stopped and Zinni proceeds to explain that all of our insurance numbers are the same except for the last digit which goes up by one each time. Ok, sign the back of the paper saying you won't sue us. Done - race numbers and chips in hand we roll out of there surrounded by massive amounts of bike porn. The Ranch wasn't distracted. We had business to take care of. First up - The Giro d'Italia was making a showing in Bergamo that day. So we spin down the road getting waved on by spectators and policia alike until we were stopped and told no further. A glance at the team cars and lunch in a cafe on the side of the road with one of Gimondi's old friends was a treat. The riders came through like a pack of sinew about 35kph looking relaxed. They had just picked up their 100km snack and were replacing calories.

A few minutes of that and we were back off to the hostel to shower up and see if we could catch the finish in town. Hostel room - 4 bunks beds - room for 8. We were 5. One shower with no curtain, drain in the floor and the toilet basically in the shower with you. Normal?

After the clean up - we walk into town, see the riders come flying through on their way to the finish and head up to Citta Alta for some sights.

A bit of Terrone cheese and hams, a small beer, a few photos, dinner at the Ranch restaurant where we ate last year and bus back to the Ostello. Who do we find - but SpeedoRedio out doing hill repeats on his new Derosa King. A good look at his new ride and we are lights out by 10pm struggling to fall alseep but distracted by RiderCali dryshaving his legs.

After a hazy sleep of strange dreams, the sounds of snoring vibrating throught he halls, the Ranch had multiple blackberry alarms rouse them around 5:30 am.

Trying to negotiate 5 men for the SS and S before the race was interesting but accomplished and we drift downstairs to find any breakfast there might have been earlier completely torn into and gone. We satisfied ourselves with warm milk and a dry roll each and looked forward to getting on the bike. We could eat at the second food stop.

A line up with 2,500 other cyclists and within 20 minutes we were off.

Now Cali had clearly stated he was going to be on the rivet from the start to the finish so noshow decided to relax behind him and let him negotiate the crowds in the beginning. Reido drifted back into the pack clearly afraid to scratch his new ride (various shouts were claimed to be heard - YO! EASY ON THE BIKE! HEY! TOO CLOSE! GIMME SOME SPACE)) and Zinni waited for Chiche so they could ride support for each other.

Cali and noshow lead the pack up hill number 1. Zip along to hill number 2 and first Noshow rides away from Cali, then gets passed by Speido. Noshow stops for some water refills, eats a cookie and Cali comes spinning in. A quick refuel and water and off they were again on the course. Reido GONE. Lone wolf. Zinni behind us drops Chiche and waits at the water stop for him to arrive. After already waiting for him to change a flat earlier in the race and sharing his water bottle as Chiche forgot he would be thirsty and didn't fill his own(Wharton? nah) Zinni is expressing one of the Ranch qualities...take care of your fellow rancher. Generous to say the least. Chiche descending better than Zinni so he is waiting at the bottom of the hills so they can continue their ride together. More on this later...

So Reido is off and trying to improve of his time from last year. Cali and Noshow battling it out on hill number 3 which is really a double whammy. Cals tries to drop the noshow early on and kicks it into high gear while noshow could only watch him go confident of being able to catch him before the top. Zinni and Chiche playing cat and mouse and chiche descending to the bottom after the 3rd hill only to forget about Zinni and make a break for home conveinently forgetting the team spirit Zinni had exemplified.

Meanwhile, Noshow catches Cali and hides on his wheel for a few minutes before attacking 4 km from the top of this final climb. He gets a healthy 30meter lead and cannot keep the pace so sits down and glances back to see Cali's face go from an expression of panic to an expression of fistpump smugness knowing Noshow can't get away.

So 2 of the 3 parts of the team head for the finish. ReiderSpeidoReido turns right for the long course and crushes it. 5H50 minutes improving by a healthy 30 minutes from 2008. All those Verbier weekends paying off. Cali and Noshow head full gas for the finish and Cali skids through the last turn with one foot on the ground Barney Rubble style at about 40kph and head up sprints for the line, Noshow spins across 2 seconds after followed by the Italian train who helped pull us in.

Chiche is next across with Zinni pulling up a few minutes after muttering something uninteligible in italian while giving chiche the evil eye.

Reido being the anchor rider comes in a few minutes later after doing the long course with a fantastic time while swearing under his breath, "Flipping Terrones, stay away from my bike..."

So at the end, the Ranch meets back up at the hostel, has a shower, packs the van and stops off for one last bite to eat in Citta Alta Bergamo, Italy before heading back to the airport. It was a meal of 5 tired guys feeling really good about what they accomplished that day and patting each other on the backs - even if there may have been a bit of fun-poking at one another. All in good fun and victory for the Ranch. Thanks Roy Yan. You have created something special.

Photos to be posted this weekend.

Goin' Back to Cali

2009-05-18T17:02:00.048+01:00

Sunny California. Bastion of beautiful beaches, body builders and babes in bikinis. Perhaps more pertinant to Ranch lifers, mecca for outdoor enthusiasts and all things ocean, mountain and desert.

This past weekend, a three-strong contingent of the Ranch cohort made an appearance at the Encinitas Triathlon. Located in surfer's paradise, just north of San Diego, where the sport of triathlon was born of Navy Seals in 1974, Ridermama, RiderZoe and Riderturbo (Turbine) appeared smiling brightly and proudly flying the Ranch colours.

Preparing for the event was not easy. Turbine solicited inspiration from the Oracle (RiderPitts) some half-the-world away in Hong Kong to drop pounds, lean up and get ready for race day, incorporating a regimen of austere diet, aerobic base building and Friday fasting to throw down when the chips were on table.

Despite teeming with a hunger to race, Ridermama was relegated to spectator with Riderzoe due to some group planning issues.

Wanting to take glory for the team, Turbine lined up front row behind the start tape with the big guns in a land where triathlon is no joke. Fueled by a pre-race regimen of Red Bull, push ups and delusions of Ranch victory, Turbo flew off the line like a trackstar and was first into the water with high knees and powerful arm drive.

A few seconds later, the dream was shattered as Turbine slammed head-on into a wall of incoming surf where mother nature shows no quarter to feeble displays of human aggression. After regaining composure, Turbine settled mid-pack among local ocean swimmers and swung into a rhythmic corkscrew tempo reflective of weekend race pace. The group swam straight outbound to the yellow triagular buoy, smoothly sighting intermediate orange buoys past the break, then turned shore bound by sighting off a towering palm tree onshore to complete the 750m swim leg.

Mentally discombobulated coming out of the water in 37th place, Turbine knew it was time to show the locals what the Ranch is about. After an extra 30 seconds fluff time in T1 donning the obligatory Ranch jersey, hell broke lose as Turbine locked, loaded and fired the Eddy Mercx Chrono TT bike down the road course, sighting the competition and picking them off one by one. After two laps comprising 20km, Turbine had restaked Ranch claim with a non-drafting bike split 37 minutes, ranking 7th amongst men same-age group competitors.

On to the run after a snappy one minute T2 and Turbine felt the pain of hard-won glory on the bike. Despite efforts to ignore the pain, lactic acid spiked and leg muscles seized as Turbine grit his teeth and knocked down the first of two laps. Inspired by fast veterans, fit women and Romanov's Pose Tech running technique, Turbine picked up the pace and brought home the second lap of the 5k run in style with Riderzoe and Ridermama providing paparazzi photos and raucous cheering along the finish line chute.

Overall, Turbine clocked a mid-rank 5k run split and won 14th overall position out of 63 competitors in the Men's 35-39 age group.

Ridermama and Riderzoe proudly showed Ranch colours throughout and curious onlookers in the crowd were heard whispering "who's the Ranch?"

Chalk up a few more kilometers, smiles and points for the Ranch on the global racing scene.

RANCH HUSTLE, LOYALTY, RESPECT.

The Yan - reflecting on the history of the ranch

2009-05-14T09:04:00.006+01:00

Some of you might not be completely aware of the genisis of the ranch. As much rumour abounds - i thought it time to put facts straight. The ranch was the brainchild of Roy the Yan in the living room of 151 drayton gardens - a south kensington home to 5 young bankers - which became known amongst those in the know as "the ranch". Not sure why "the ranch" perhaps two of the fellows - mark begert (texas) and tom pitts (alberta) hailed from those places associated with pick up trucks and middle teeth.

Roy Yan (critirider) was a competitive cyclist as a junior living in philadelphia. Later he rode for the westpoint millitary academy (ARMY) and is still found racing in assorted criteriums across the east coast. Maintaining a strict cycling regimen in London he introduced the sport to the good men of the ranch in the late 90's - as an off season leg strengthening exercise. Off season as the men of the ranch were found skiing each and every weekend and were looking to optimise their ski season free from the ritual month of aches and pains.

To the casual observer - the ranch was soon mistaken for a soho bathhouse - as men were seen semi clothed with a full lather of sweat - pounding away at compu- trainers and bikes on rollers all in full view from the passers by on old brompton road. Not suprsingly with a bunch of AA personalities everything was a competition weather it be wattage, heart rate, or weight and progress was made. The mantra of cycling soon was accepted and endorsed as:

"To be a cyclist is to be a student of pain....at cycling's core lies pain, hard and bitter as the pit inside a juicy peach. It doesn't matter if you're sprinting for an Olympic medal, a town sign, a trailhead, or the rest stop with the homemade brownies. If you never confront pain, you're missing the essence of the sport. Without pain, there's no adversity. Without adversity, no challenge. Without challenge, no improvement. No improvement, no sense of accomplishment and no deep-down joy. Might as well be playing Tiddly-Winks."

It comes with little suprise that while 151 drayton gardens survived for 6 years - eventually girlfriends ultimatums, job transfers, and the realization that one should start living more adult like - the fellows moved out. But the cycling continued and new recruits were swept up with no real thesis beyond finding a few more willing guys to ride saturday mornings. An Argentine contingent led by Easy-E was exploring cycling and stumbled into the fray and suddenly with ridercrespo and riderchichi a group was re-emerging. Staple on a couple of colorado transplants (riderturbo) and the lone wolf - add some veteran leadership (riderhowe) some boston old money (ridernoshow), boston new money (ridercali) and a hersute terrone (riderzinni) - and the ranch cycling team was born.

Fellowship amongst like minded men in the midst of all the nonsense that bigger money and temptations can bring - sets one on a steady path. The acceptance of suffering is best done with some support from your pals - so the ranch started to take itself a bit more seriously - and results started to show. Everybody kinda had their own goals - whether it be a sub 20 loop of richmond park, losing a few pounds, or dropping one of your pals who was needling you all week on the subida de la muerte in turville. Remembering at base the ranch was a bunch of adult men trying hold off middle aged expansion - and looking to find the discipline to just be plain healthier. The 4 or 5 races in europe each year were a bonus and served to pause - a pause to see wonderful parts of the continent - a pause at the starting line to reflect on ones training and state of being - and a pause to be aware enough that these memories are going to be stored away and reflected on and replayed over the years to come. The catch all phrase for 2009 is make it yours - a somewhat selfish "only child" line - but i think the point is to maintain a balance in all things - which is stressed and applauded each day with each rancher holding the other to task.

So the ranch has shaped up into a core bunch of guys that have developed into pretty good weekend cyclists. They maintain enough perspective that they can laugh at themselves when they drop a chain, or get passed by a bunch of girls on pink pinarellos. A number of ranchers have dispatched to different countries - but still maintain daily contact over bloomberg chat and post the odd blog to reaffirm their membership. They became virtual friends with a tri-athelete in colorado, a stem cell researcher in frankfurt, and were cited in the cyclopassion bike calander. The site meter shows 6,000 visits with 12,000 page views. All of this - its fun to think - is the result of a hedge fund manager from philadelphia - who found himself in London - living with a few numbnuts - and said - lets see if some of these muppets can learn to ride.

Le glamour de la RANCH

2009-05-03T13:08:00.014+01:00

Ranchers in Paris. Normal.

Friday night, RiderCali arrives in Saint Germain. Confidence is high, the Ranch is getting ready for a big night out surrounded by glamour and years of history in the city of lights.

First stop, Bodega de la Soif. Representing old school fashion, Noshow sporting the classic tweed jacket and Caiipirinhas all around. A young Hemingway wannabe, rider Cali is all fired up at the second Caiipirinha. The ranch wanders out to dinner and...

..RiderEasyE, never afraid of the approach, meets 3 young parisiens and invites them to a local resto for our first Parisien meal of the weekend. Big laughs, too much wine and home to bed with the promise of an early start cycling in the Bois de Boulogne.

A fine example of the sensitivity of the Ranch. Noshow and petite Charlotte cruising Paris on a touristy ride. Ranch winning.

A picture tells a thousand words.... Ranch bon vivants in Paris. Normal.

What's this? EasyE with a navy blue blazer and pocket square? Normal? Europe is certainly adding culture and style to EasyE. Not sure if they would recognize him in BA. Would captain Pitts approve? I suspect one would hear, "That's a grown up purchase."

The post wouldn't be complete without a mention of Guillaume, our Parisien saturday night host where he filled the Ranch bellies with lovely Bourgogne wine, escargots and Vielle Prune to finish the evening in style. The Ranch says, "Merci beaucoup and A bientot."

Training weekend Mallorca

2009-04-24T19:45:00.020+01:00

3 sections of Team Ranch came to Palma de Mallorca. 2 from Zurich, 2 from London and one from Paris. Marion, our polish friend who takes care of the property was kind enough to be transport guy all of friday finishing up by picking up Noshow at 12:30 am and proceeding to speed across the island as fast as the giant Hyundai van could go and arriving home at 1:15 am to find the house........empty. Odd. Oh wait, there were argentines with us. A quick phone call and we find they are at a bar in Alcudia. Marion, happy to help, drives Noshow into town and decides to have a few beers as well while explaining in broken english, "don't tell my girl..." Although it seemed the pressure got to him and he split after 2 beers and a Jaeger shot.

After a late night, bed around 2:30 am and a few Jaegermeister and tequila shots (no idea why), the ranch slept until 11am Saturday when Noshow awoke and banged on bedroom doors to wake everyone. Brekky, a peruse at the map and into the van and with Crespo the chauffeur, we were off to Pollenca to ride the mountains.

A nice start to a 3 hour ride, we roll as a team for the first 10 minutes until the rode turns up. First off the back, Pablo the chauffeur. Noshow drops back to give him the keys in case he loses morale (more to this later) and works for the next 15 minutes on trying to catch riderCali. On his way, he sees Zeke, looking ok but frustrated, then riderHowe looking very comfortable, then finally reaches riderCali looking relaxed spinning up the mountain. NoShow, about to his limit is relieved to sit on Cali's wheel for a spell to catch his breath.

RiderHowe closes the gap to Cali and Noshow, and the 3 of them climb and climb worrying about the impending thunderstorms. Dark and threatening on the left, blue sky to the right, the 3 ride until they go through the darkest tunnel in the universe only to come out on the other side to a cold, windy, dark, rainy world where they look at each other and agree to make the turn. Back through the tunnel

and into a good decent. Pollo is only a kilometer or so below them and then Crespo not far below him. We zip past Crespo who doesn't turn. Noshow decides to turn to get him, chases back up the mtn to where Crespo says,"I will not turn back until I go two hours. I have 4 minutes left." I find this a great example of a man versus himself. He had nothing to prove to anyone except himself. Fantastic effort. I wanted to hug the man.

A 30 minute decent back to the van with speeds approaching 65kph on the winding road, a hard headwind at the flat and Cali, Noshow and Howe rest in the sun while awaiting their Argentine teammates. Within a half hour, everyone arrives feeling fantastic with a deep hunger and the Tapas bar is calling....Cali, having returned from a training weekend in Tenerife is dark skinned and looking like he went native. Pollo showing off the colors and RiderHowe being as strong as the Team has ever seen him sits there with confidence and doesn't have to say or do anything.

A stop off for something to replace the calories lost along with a team photo:

Then a 15 minute drive back to the Mallorcan Ranch base of operations and the team decides to shower up (Pollo and Noshow detour for a chilly dip in the pool) and a discovery of a ping pong table leads to a good hour of friendly round robin competition. Weak link was clearly Cali's hand eye coordination. Strongest on the table were the argies.

After a team tasting of riderHowe's outstanding Mount Gay and cokes, the team was lubed and ready to have dinner. Crespo driving as per usual, into Port de Pollenca for some local flavors and we are snoozing by midnight, dreaming of carbon, the clunk of gears shifting and the hiss of tires on asphalt, looking forward to another day of cycling.

A much earlier start on Sunday vs Saturday and the team decides to repeat the ride from Saturday due to time constraints.

Overall a beautiful day with plenty of friendly competition on the hill. Noshow tries to huddle the team up at the top but Cali was having none of it (grumpy for being dropped) and Pollo was still in his own world although rumour has it that Crespo caught and passed so perhaps was feeling like he needed a bit more punishment.

After everything we all met back at the van then to the house again. It was a fantastic weekend with lots of laughs, plenty of good work put in in the mountains of the northwest corner of Mallorca. All in all, Team Ranch London is winning so far this season. The first race in Bergamo, Italy is upon us in 3 weeks. Felice Gimondi. I sense victory. This weekend certainly was.

Training attempt - Hope Cali is having better luck in Tenerife...

2009-03-28T19:44:00.005Z

Weekend in Paris while training for upcoming Gimondi, I went in search of any sort of hills I could find. I could only think of Montmarte so across the city I pedaled at 6am in the cold rain and up the one hill I could find. Figured I better record it with a photo.

lone wolf - enough said

2009-03-27T08:06:00.003Z

end of the road - verbier to fionnay - approach to the mauvoisin dam

where there's black top - you can find the lone wolf.

Sometimes i mutter "take me back"

2009-03-24T03:32:00.007Z

Once in a while - but only once in a while - i wake up and meander along the 7 minute hilly walk way up on the peak of hong kong - I work my way through the thick air and drenching humidity to my designated spot for my ride to the office - and along those stumblings I sometimes find I miss my old pre-work morning laps in regents park in London. I miss the white jersey guy who sprints by me and throws a couple fist pumps as he edges out the commuter kid at the stop sign. I miss the one legged black guy who bangs out laps in the mid 30's. I miss the douches of the london dynamos who leer disapprovingly at my 10 year old aluminum de-rosa. I miss ridercali offering me his other glove as my knuckles turn blue. I miss getting hassled by the park security guard as i coast through a red light on a car-less road. But then, like a good breakfast - the feeling is digested and passes. And i reflect on the fact that its not regents I miss - its the routine. So with a few extra kilos that have snuck into my mid section - i make my way to the gym at the american club and sit on the stationary bike for 20 minutes - here I sweat alongside the blackberry tappers faking another workout wondering if that jackass in the white jersey is missing me.

Ranch Riders Go Global

2009-03-11T15:37:00.005Z

With Eazy-E posting in Zurich, riderpitts landing HK, and riderturbo, ridermama and riderzoe surfacing in L.A., the Ranch has officially gone global. Represented on three continents -- Europe, Asia and North America -- Ranch jerseys are creeping their way into local riding groups, pelotons and races around the globe, and have been seen along favored cycling routes and trails worldwide by virtue of a powerful but silent viral marketing campaign.

Ridermama has recently been seen ripping up trails on a full-suspension Yeti along the backbone single track trails and fire roads high above Santa Monica and Malibu, while riderturbo has been hard at work cleaning chains, tweaking derailleurs and changing tires on the repositioned road and mountain bike fleet.

Riderzoe (seated on left) has contributed her energies recruiting future ranch riders through a youth indoctrination program whereby vulnerable young toddlers are recruited to ride in the cycling chariot while sharing bottles of milk and contemplating the wonderful possibilities of participation in the ranch cycling program.

To that end, Riderturbo and Ridermama have signed up for the Nautica Malibu Triathlon and would like to invite \Ranch Riders near and far to join us in sunny California for this most delightful and heart-pounding race consisting of a 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike and 4 mile run, or Olympic Distance 1500m/40k/10k, to be held the weekend of Sept 13 & 14. Contact riderturbo for more info if you are interested. http://www.nauticamalibutri.com/

Other events currently contemplated in the area appear on the following website.

http://www.socalcycling.com/funrides/index.asp

Anyone traveling in the area, please let us know. We have extra road bikes in the fleet available and at your disposal if you prefer to travel light prior to embarking on some serious climbs in the Sierra Nevadas.

rider payne - lone wolf ride

2008-12-16T01:16:00.003Z

Fellas,

I thought you might appreciate some highlights from an early winter day out at Turville, to bring the season to a close. I attached some photos to demonstrate the condition of the roads after 2days of solid 24h rain.

I took my 1978 Masi, the same orange bike that fella rode in the 1979 film Breaking Away. I bought the Masi used from my brother in 1986 (he bought it used in 1981) and had the frame repainted/re-dacalled in 1990.

It has been my back-up bike over last 2months, because my De Rosa Idol has been sent back to the factory to inspect some fractures on both the chainstays. The front derailer cable froze on the first hill, so for the rest of the ride, I had to manually move the front derailer from large ring to small ring and vice versa. It was a solo ride ending 3hrs later with a pint at the Bull and the Butcher.

Turville is a real piece of cycling heaven.

Merry Xmas

RP

A friendly movie by Noshow

2008-10-29T10:42:00.002Z

http://www.grapheine.com/bombaytv/index.php?module=see&lang=uk&code=94c2ab7fce8cd7277450cbe33f9d881b

Giro di Lombardia

2008-10-20T01:10:00.003+01:00

Hopefully we will get a more detailed accounting of the giro di lombardia - for now a picture tells a thousand words - or so we hope.

3 ranchers - riderspeedo, riderhowe, and the ridereasy-e.

this is how the ranch deals with the meltdown

2008-10-14T02:31:00.006+01:00

Riderhowe and Riderpitts spend some quality time together lounging in easy-e's hotub on riderpitts's recent 3 dayer in Zurich .
Given that the ranch found themselves in the middle of the swiss typhoon season - and remembering that nobody had the jam to ride in this years prosecco race - the two canadian transplants felt it only appropriate to get their carb intake from a couple ales and idle the day away listening to vintage marshall tucker and the like. Easy-e feeling a little uncomfortable about letting the two hayseeds loose in his fat cat pad - seemed to be placated with a good dose of riderpitts's homemade chicken soup. However - to his horror - the visiting ranchers soon found the secret to the consistency of easy-e's year around tan - and hidden in the bowels of his 600m2 apartment was the height of 1980's vanity - the sunbed.

Gimondi review

2008-09-29T19:45:00.008+01:00

In a faithful attempt to distract fellow ranchers from the misery of our stock markets and financial system, I decided to post a few photos from the Gimondi race. Here's one with the team of 3 powering along with a few italian locals making a vain attempt to draft us.

Easy-E looking strong as we fan out behind him.

Here's one within a few minutes of the finish. Note the concentration of the two Ranchers for the final homestretch. After 4 and a half hours of hard racing they look in the zone and hungry for the line.

And then there was the finish. While Zeke and Reido were still out on the course competing for the impressive long race, Noshow and Cali were rolling across the finish. I think the smiles say it all...Happy days.

The perfect riding weekend

2008-09-22T12:42:00.004+01:00

Tired after an horrible week I got up on Saturday morning at 6:33.... kind of weird feeling after after experienced one of the worst week in my (relatively small) banking career.. It's too early and the curtains are down so I can't understand how clowdy or rainy is out there.. I got up and get some breakfast going and I realise that the weather is awesome. I do some domestic things (with the wife away there is a lot of things that needs to get done) and I pack my bike with destination "Turville"... I send a msg to Crespo who told me that he would have had been up for a Turville ride.. No reply... So at 10:05 I'm in Turville. Its one of the best day ever in Turville. Sun shining. I look up and I can't see any clouds, nothing just blue sky. It's 16/18 degrees and there are tons or riders out there. SHould i follow a peleton or keep riding on my own... I decided the latter and keep going... put the I-pod on.. Volume 8, probably 9..... I really want to get few hills today so I go down la "subida de la Muerte".. I feel very good on the way up.. I pass few riders on the climb... I feel more excited so i decided that I need to do it again.. So here we go I go down again and up again... a car overtakes me (on the way up) and says: c'mon, you look strong... I don't reply I keep pedalling.. I ride back to the pub.. feeling strong and the sun is very strong now... it's around 12:00 so I decided to do a bit more... I do another lap (the usual, one small and one large lap)... the small lap is ok.. the second more challening as there are more cars now... still a lot of rider out there... my legs feel very good... I do another double "subida, double hill".. very excited but tired now... I go ride back to the car... and drive back home.... What a ride............
Sunday wake up go to Richmond Park but I was tired, so I do two laps then I see rider-reido and we do a lap together then I decided to end there (as well as rider reido as he did a long ride on sat as well).... Good w/e...

2 Handsome fellas, enough said.

2008-09-09T08:40:00.002+01:00

Carbdeath

2008-09-08T07:20:00.002+01:00

Whilst the bread-eating, pasta-puffing members stuff their biker bodies with useless carbs at the wrong time, Rider Stem Cell continues to optimize and multiply his ATP Factors (mitochondria) through a strict regime of Meat, Nuts, Veggies and Fruit.

You will pay!!!! RiderStemCells monster thighs will pummel the hills during the next race.......and leave everyone begging for more Halva!!!!!!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halva

thats a good looking finish

2008-09-08T06:44:00.002+01:00

Good old tom pitts limps across the finish at the granfondo prosecco after being dragged around for 6 hours on the wheel of the noshow. Good clean fun despite the fact i exhausted the all american lacross player - the same way a pony express rider would run his horse down to a foaming frothing mangle of sinew. So i sat - taking all the glory - sitting in +27 venetian sunshine - with dancing girls and booth babes open to canadian charms - and the noshow a quivering, spent lump of marblehead muscle.

YUMI

2008-09-04T07:50:00.008+01:00

4 Ranchers decided to have a Pitts San tribute and decended upon Yumi for an informal Ranch dinner.
Cali and Noshow being the early birds arrived first at 7pm and assumed they'd be well into their meal by the time Crespo and Zinni arrived. Little did they remember that Yumi is not known for promptness and efficiency. Luckily they were hypnotized by the butchering of a giant tuna by our sushi chef Higashi which in broken english was explained as Easter. Zinni later named him Pasquale (Italian for easter) and that name stuck.

Crespo was second to the restaurant sporting mad max motorcycle boots with Skinni Zinni 10 minutes after.

Crespo's fluent japanese along with handsignals were one of 3 highlights of the night. The second being the young japanese girls drinking themselves into oblivion on cold sake. The one against the wall was seeing blurry eyed by the time we left at 10:30pm. The third highlight was the conference call with Tom Pitts at 4am HK time. A speakerphone conversation with the ranchers and a few words with Mrs. Yumi (the owner) and I believe Pitts was actually smiling.

Overall, a great evening spent amoung good people.

Saturday morning ride

2008-08-31T18:21:00.003+01:00

Four Ranch riders met in the old village of Turville on saturday morning... Warm morning, for a change.... RiderCrespo, RiderCali, RiderNoshow and RiderZinni.... Beautiful 2hrs ride..
The effect of the recent Argentinean summer holiday were very evident on RiderCrespo body.... Too many alfajores (http://www.havanna.com.ar/) and too many Bife de Lomo... anyway he manage to climb la "subida de la muerte" strongly and that was important... RiderCali is still struggling with his knee injury but manage to ride for a fair bit.. RiderNoShow strong as ever... leading the peleton... Anyway it was good to see the ranch again and see Turville .... We ended up riding for two hrs, did the subida de la muerte 2.4times and rode strongly back to the car park... great way of spending saturday morning... If anyone is around this week we will meet up for dinner on Thursday night...